The Vest

The Vest
Originally uploaded by daveterry

I've had this vest for over 20 years. I've used if for photo gear, travel trips, and now sketch outings.

It was an ugly military green color but I dyed it a chocolate brown.

Now I can carry all my sketch tools in it.

It's most handy and I don't have a sore back at the end of the day.

...dave
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. - my wife

my $732 sketch

I sketched this while on the phone with AT&T . . .  for an hour and a half!

I was cut off three times. Once by an operator who said their system was down and she couldn't access the records, then she hung up. The second time I called, someone put me on hold, then eventually the call was abandoned. When I called the third time a message said the phones were off-line and that I should call back tomorrow.

I called a forth time and got a very helpful account rep. He said that my account was suspended by my request, which I knew.

But I asked him: "If it has been suspended, why am I still being charged $122 a month?"

He left me on hold and returned in about 5 minutes. Said that that is what AT&T does with suspended accounts.

"Wait a minute" I said "you mean to tell me that I can't make calls while it's suspended but I still get the same charge a month. Why would I ask for the suspension?"

"That is the policy here at AT&T, Sir. This is what was done with your account."

"But then why would anyone "suspend" their account? It just doesn't make any sense."

I gave him the details and history of being away in China for months at a time, calling AT&T to ask what could they do for me while I was away. How they recommended that I "suspend'" the account. I told him I was told that I would not get charged. "I mean, why should I be charged?" I reasoned.

"Just a minute." and he was gone again.

After what was another 10 minutes he came back and told me that there were two kinds of suspensions. The kind I was on and a "Vacation Suspension." With the later type I only get charged $10 a month for the privilege of keeping the number while away. "Let me see if you qualify for this." And he was gone again for another 10 minutes. Long story short he put me on the "Vacation Suspension".

In the end, when I calculate it all up, I saved about 732 bucks over six months by persistently calling AT&T and asking cogent questions. Not bad for an hour an a half of my time.

And here's the best part, while on hold I got a sketch done in the new sketchbook.  (Cool cover, no?)

...dave
Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”

Drawing with dots

This sketch uses "dots" to sketch. The technique is called "stippling."

(I have used this picture in 365JE before to illustrate the need to buy waterproof archival pens in the blog post "I bought a pen today" but thought I'd use it here to show how easy this technique is for anyone to do.)

First, let me say that this is my first ever portrait and it was my first attempt at a stippled drawing. All of this says that you can do it too, even if you have never tried it. Believe me when I tell you that it is a very relaxing way to draw.

Next, let me tell you that I have had no formal art education. I didn't take drawing or portraiture in a college or a university, I did not attend art classes beyond high school. (Can't you tell?) All of what you see on the blog is self taught. (Maybe I have read a few art books, but then again, hasn't everyone?)

What all of this means is that you can do this too. I'll show you how simple it is.

Here's what you'll need:

1) a copy of a favorite photo (can be a person, a scene, an object, whatever)
2) a ruler
3) acid free drawing paper
4) pencil
5) felt-tipped, water-proof archival pen (Pitt or Micron work well)
6) kneaded eraser

Steps:

1) Using the copy of your photo (assuming it is a 4x6 photo) and a pencil, lightly draw a grid pattern of 1/2 inch squares over the entire photo.

2) Now draw a pencil grid LIGHTLY over your drawing paper. If your drawing paper is twice the size of the photo make the squares 1 inch or so. If you want to make a drawing of exactly the same size, use 1/2 inch squares.

3) Now simply "draw" using only dots (stippling) with the felt tipped pen.

4) Let the ink fully dry before lightly erasing the pencil lines. You should use an kneaded eraser so as to not disturb the inked dots.

Tips:

1) Focus and copy each square while ignoring the whole picture.

2) Follow the contour of the object your are stippling. For example, notice in my drawing of Eric's hair that I followed the contour of his head as I made my dots downward.

3) You can "block" the basic patterns of the object using pencil but it's not necessary. Some artists like to do a rough sketch over the squares but I think this defeats the purpose. You don't want to see the whole. In fact, cover the other squares with a paper and only focus on one square at a time.

4) The reason why you'll want to use a felt-tipped pen for this is because it is easier to make your marks. You can experiment with holding the pen longer in one spot to give bigger dots but there is a better way: Just add more dots for a deeper or darker area. The beauty of this technique is that you can go back and add more dots to areas that needs to be darker later. After you have done the entire drawing, look it over and note where you can add contour to the face or objects but adding dots.

5) Always pause and hold the drawing at arms length, or better yet, stand up and look at the sketch from afar. Cross your eyes and see only the shadows. Add more contour (dots) as needed.

6) Listen to some music while dotting your sketch. As the drawing comes together you'll lose track of time. This is the most relaxing period of your session.

7) Warning: You will become giddy with excitement as the sketch comes together but . . . take it slow.

When you are finished, add some words around your sketch to frame your drawing. Both words and sketches add depth to your journaling experience.

Happy sketching.

...dave
Drawing is taking a line for a walk. -Paul Klee

Daily Illustrated Journaling

I try to make it a point to journal everyday, if only for a few minutes. The main point is to remember the fun people, enjoyable food, and warm friendships made and enjoyed, especially while in China.

Journal about the simple things
Of course, you don't have to go to faraway places to record memories. For example, Ruth showed some how to make sushi, Hawaiian style (or at least as mom made it). We had wine and coke. We made barley tea, a very strong Japanese tea that requires boiling, as well as Chinese green tea. (That's the little green things in the upper right portions of the left page. Can't you tell?!) These are simple activities that are easy to record anywhere.

Of course, none of the daily sketches are anything fancy but they bring back tons of memories. I post these to help you see that your entries don't have to be fancy, they can take just minutes to do but years later you'll have a richness in your journal like no other.

A sketch is worth 10,000 words
If a photograph is worth 1,000 words, then your own sketch must speak 10,000. I've often looked at a photograph I took and couldn't remember the people or the event. That's never happened with any of my sketches.

We remember our sketches and the feelings they bring back much faster than written words. The words though, supply what the pictures cannot. The two combined make for a powerful record of a memory book. Lewis and Clark practiced this kind of journaling when they traveled. Their journals are some of the most incredible, especially when you consider the conditions under which they were written. No hanging out in an air conditioned RV overlooking the setting sun. No. More like tents and backpacks resting against rocks while they massaged sore feet from miles of walking. Still they found time to write and sketch. (Check out the Lewis and clark journals here.

Rather than paste stuff cut out of magazines into your journal, I'd encourage you to draw your own memories. Don't do anything real fancy. Keep it basic. Over time your sketches will improve, perhaps become framable art. But the point is to remember the times. A few lines in your journal will do that.

I notice that many that come to my blog are searching Google for "365 Journal Entries." My guess is that they want journal to record a year's worth of memories. My journals are usually at least about 400 pages. This enables me to carry a years worth around with me. Sometimes when I get stuck, I'll flip back and re-read or review other sketches. It's enough to boost me or jog my creative juices to create the next day's illustrated journal entry.

Later when the paints come out, color wash a few and enhance your images. You'll be surprised that a little color (or even a monochromatic hue) bring your quick sketches to a whole new level. Oh, and while you have color on your brush, go back and touch some more past sketches. You'll be glad you did.

Use the right tools
Craftsmen know that good tools make a difference. The only thing to keep in mind for illustrated journaling is to use a waterproof ink. I use uni-ball Vision Micro pens everyday. They are cheap, easy to purchase at any Walmart or art store, and provide a jet black line. I wish uni-ball made them in brown.

These sketches were done in Noodlers waterproof whaler's brown ink. (I mean, come on, you need waterproof ink on a whaling ship. Right? I know this isn't too politically correct but don't blame me, I didn't give the ink its name.) This ink was a special run and I picked it up from jetpens.com but you can get a similar Noodlers Standard Brown Fountain Pen Ink at Amazon.

But if you do go out to jetpens.com check out their cheap Preppy 05 fountain pen. I bought about four of them and filled them with my own ink. Just remove the cartridge and fill the body with the ink of choice. (Put a little Vaseline on the threads to prevent any possible leaks.) For three dollars you can't go wrong.

...dave
Every artist was first an amateur. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

illustrated journaling - China apartment

Just a quick sketch from our China apartment. Trying to get a sketch-a-day out but not too successful.

Sometimes the journal becomes a list of TODOs.

The cabinet was found in a second hand store. There are so many solid wood items in second hand stores here that it makes me wonder why anyone would visit the Ikea-Look-Alike store here. Most of that stuff falls apart within weeks. It's only "pressboard" (sawdust mixed with glue) and looks so sterile. There is to character.

The owners of the apartment bought the entire living room furniture (couch, eight unmatching wood chairs, table, three cabinets) in a day and had it delivered for a fraction of what it would cost elsewhere or if purchased at Ikea.

The sketch was done with a Preppy Fountain pen filled with brown Noodler's Bulletproof Whaler's ink. Then I added a quick watercolor wash.

(Still sketching in China but the days are numbered. Check out travel.daveterry.net for details.)

...dave
Failure is not an option. It is a privilege reserved only for those who try.

trash truck

trash truck
Originally uploaded by daveterry

A quick sketch of a trash truck I panned while I'm here in China. More details at travel.daveterry.net

...dave
Drawing is just taking a line for a walk.

Yunnan shop owner

Another quick sketch, this time done from a computer image. I shot this in China (Yunnan) from a local bus window while on the way to the grocery store. I'd rather sketch on location but this is the next best thing.

My goal is to fill up the Moleskine watercolor sketchbook I brought along on this trip. (A noble goal.) I'm also keeping a travel journal and a travel blog.

It's amazing that I get out at all!

...dave
Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. - Earl Wilson

a evening recorded with sketchnotes

9.22.2010 Journal Entry
Originally uploaded by daveterry

As an experiment I decided to "sketchnote" an evening of activities.

Sketchnoting is big. A sketchnote is a combination of images and text. Some sketchnoters use fonts to highlight the important points of a presentation, others use more drawings, still others use a combination of both.

The point is, sketchnoting will help you remember the event (regardless of how good your drawings are) because you are employing three sensory inputs to your brain: hearing, feeling (drawing), and seeing. You'll retain 30% of the presentation as opposed to just 10% with only note taking.

The next time you listen to a lecture try a sketchnote. If you don't draw then just make the main points a larger font on your notepad. This simple act will make your notes more memorable. Even a simple picture will make them come to life and a joy to review.

...dave
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin

Theoretically Related Posts

• Dave's suggestions on sketchnoting featured on Sketchnote Army
• Other featured sketchnoters (is that a word?).
• Mike Rohde's complete sketchnotes (great stuff here).

Ruth's what-to-wear chart

Ruth's what-to-wear chart
Originally uploaded by daveterry

In preparation for our two month trip to China, Ruth made her what-to-wear chart. She lists all the clothes she wants to bring and draws lines between what goes with what. Anything with only a couple of lines gets axed!

(She doesn't have a shoe chart as she will only bring two pair. The ones she wears on the plane and the sandals in the carry on bag.)

We're big on www.onebag.com. We've been traveling now this way and we'll never go back to check-on bags. On our last two month-long trips to China we only brought a carry-on bag. Once we tried this, we never went back to checking bags. No lost luggage, no wait on arrival, no back pain, just to name a few benefits. If you are interested in lightening your load, check out the Go-Light-Guru at www.onebag.com. Great advice.

So we are locked and loaded. We leave for our two month adventure in China on Monday.

Plans are:
1) Photograph: You'll be able to follow our adventure vicariously at: travel.daveterry.net. (Or just click on the Travels tab above.)

2) Sketch: I'm looking forward to more sketch time.

3) Stories: We'll keep you posted on what's happening. (Sorta like last time's China 2008 trip. (Reading this blog is a great insomnia cure!)

...dave
A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking. ~Earl Wilson

watercolor setup

watercolor setup
Originally uploaded by daveterry

Often I sketch on the go, standing or sitting on a small stool. One of the challenges of plein air sketching (sketching out in the open) is where to put/keep all your stuff during the journey or on location.

Some artists carry boxes and bins of stuff in their car. Others use travel easels with fold out bins and drawers of supplies. But that's far too encumbering for me. I like to take just these few items:

1) Waterproof fine black pen (Uni-Ball Vision Needle 0.5)
2) mechanical pencil (Pentel Sliding Sleeve Sharp Mechanical Pencil or the Pentel Sharp Kerry Automatic Pencil)
3) eraser (Design Kneaded Rubber 1225)
4) sketch journal (usually 6x10 inch Carnet de Voyage Travel Book)
5) travel watercolor kit (Cotman Pocket Travel Watercolor Paint Set)
6) Waterbrush (Niji Waterbrush Large round)
7) metal ruler (Walmart)
8) binder clips (Walmart - for securing the paper from the wind)

watercolor setup
Originally uploaded by daveterry

The metal ruler and binder clips work well together and enable me to place my small watercolor kit off to the side of my sketchbook. I wedge the ruler into the pages of the thick sketch journal, and binder clip it in place. I modified the bottom of the watercolor kit using stickable magnets from my local Walmart store. If I don't use the metal ruler, and set the kit on some table or other flat surface, the magnets don't get in the way, as they are flat and cover the entire bottom of the plastic kit.

This little combo fits in my back pocket (I place the sketch book tucked into my waste belt at the small of my back). Sometimes I put the kit into my pocket vest or Lands End Rigger Attaché case.

The lighter the better.

...dave
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. - Leonardo DaVinci

Brooklyn Chinatown

Brooklyn Chinatown
Originally uploaded by daveterry

We enjoyed the trip to New York this past weekend.

After one of the all-day sessions I did a quick 10 minute sketch on one the corners while Ruth went shopping for some dinner.

Later that evening I added a watercolor wash back at the hotel. We sat on the front porch, drank a little wine and watched people walk by.

...dave
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

stairwell water main

stairwell water main
Originally uploaded by daveterry

Got a quick chance to capture this on my journal. I've been meaning to do this. I just stood in the stairwell for a few minutes. I was on my way to the car in the company garage.

I was feeling a bit self-conscious. Not sure if someone would just barge into the stairwell and see me standing there staring at this mechanical device.

"What is WRONG with this guy?" They'd be thinking.

It was just a simple scribble and if they had looked over they shoulder on the way up the stairs they'd think: What a mess.

Actually I did it without looking at my paper. I just kept my eyes on the water main. Later when I got up to my car I broke out the travel watercolors and threw some pigment on it. In about 10 minutes I was done.

Then I went off to my next meeting. Rats, no real time to really get into it.

But even for a quick sketch, I'm happy to be able to capture something just "everyday" anyway.

...dave
You really never consume water. You just borrow it. - dave terry

a visit to the DMV

waiting at DMV
Originally uploaded by daveterry

What a huge task it is to move. Just changing our address is a pain. I can't believe all the companies that send us stuff. Wow.

The biggest job is changing addresses on our driver's license. There are huge lines of people and take-a-number counters. Waiting is endless. But lots of seats to wait in. Lots of people talking. Computers that go down in the middle of a transaction. No one else's transaction mind you, just ours. Why can't they just transfer us to another counter? Who knows? But don't rock the boat or they'll go slower!

waiting at DMV

You just can't get too upset about all of it. Even though it's a total waste of time it's still necessary.

The one redeeming factor was that I brought my sketchbook. And you know, what a great place to sketch people. I sketched the backs of about 12 people all in different poses.

This is a great place to get plenty of practice sketching people. Women with huge purses. (What DO they keep in those cavernous pits?) Guys with enough stuff hanging off their belts that would make a policeman jealous. (Why does that one guy have two PDAs and a flashlight hanging from his pants? What's up with where he lives? Didn't he pay his electric bill?)

The girl with the frilly purse was the best of the bunch.

This was great fun.

...dave
You can observe a lot by just watching. - Yogi Berra

apartment life

What's on the desk?
Originally uploaded by daveterry

Just a bit of nonsense to lighten the day. I've been off my routine since moving to the new apartment so haven't been drawing much. This is an attempt to get back to it.

We don't live in the big house anymore. We went from 2600 square feet to about 480. Whoa! We love the simplicity. We are so happy we sold. Some people say: "Hey, you're lucky you sold your house." But I say: "No, the buyers were lucky they GOT my house." I'm such a brat.

But becoming an apartment dweller is challenging. Many of the challenges I didn't see at first. They seemed incidental and insignificant. But they aren’t.

Take for example the shower, ah, I mean, the lack of a shower.

In our house we had a walk-in shower. I didn’t realize what a great thing it was. I love showers. I hate tubs. I hate the thought of washing up in a pool of water that isn't moving down the drain.

When we remodeled the house we tore out the tub and built one large shower. It had a four inch high lip to keep the water in but apart from that there was no obstruction in the 6 x 4 four foot walk in area of blissful water happiness.

However in the apartment there is only a tub. The worst part is: there is no shower nozzle on the wall. Yep, that's right, no wall mounted showerhead. Just a small sprayer that sits in a holder molded into the tub. The sprayer is designed to lift out of its holder and spray your hair while you are seated. No thought whatsoever was given to actually standing in the tub.

When I attempt to use this tub as a shower, bad things happen. For example, I tried setting the nozzle on the tub floor while soaping up. Bad idea. It upended and sprayed the ceiling. Once the water reached the ceiling it sprayed the walls and came down in sheets, and like a river, it ran onto the floor.

I then tried to hold the sprayer face down with my toes while soaping up. This worked, as long as I kept pressure on the nozzle. It does limit my range of motion, especially toward the soap dish and shampoo which are at the far corners of the tub. Once I reached too far and the sprayer hit the ceiling and water flooded the floor again.

I really have to be coordinated to use this tub as a shower. I think I’m actually fighting nature. This was just not meant to be.

But there are further problems with this tub. It doesn’t drain. The plug is made of a heavy metal that has no locking mechanism that can keep it in the open position. This gives me two options: let the tub fill with water or hold it open with my other foot. I opt for number two and get cramps in my big toe.

So, standing on the slippery nozzle with the left foot and jamming my right big toe into the drain plug, I soap up my face. Now I can’t open my eyes and so blindly reach for the running sprayer without letting go of the drain.

Of course, the little nozzle on the short hose doesn’t reach to the crown of my head. I squat down a bit to get the spray of water above my navel, more toward the burning soap in my eyes.

To avoid the waterfall effect on the bathroom walls, I face the back wall of the shower and aim the water at my face and toward the clear plastic liner of the shower curtain. This lets the water run down the plastic and into the tub and drain past the opened plug. This all works provided I have not started getting spasms in my toe from jamming it into the opening. There must be a better way.

But I think I might be getting the hang of it. Today I was able to shower in less than four hours. My goal is to get done before Ruth calls out: "What's taking you so long?" She wouldn’t understand.

I simply can’t answer her in the heat of the battle. There is far too much going on here to concentrate and formulate some intelligent answer. I just ignore her. I have to focus on the plug, the spryer, and the soap in my eyes. And I haven't even reached for the shampoo yet!

...dave
If you go long enough without a bath, even the fleas will leave you alone. - Ernie Pyle

oatmeal breakfast sketch

oatmeal breakfast
Originally uploaded by daveterry

Getting back to the basics, in food and sketching.

I have this carry-everywhere sketch book that is a bit cheaper than the travel watercolor book. It's about 7x9 and contains multimedia 90lb paper. Sometimes I just use it for TODO or shopping lists. But at least if it is always with me I can spend a few minutes at lunch sketching the meal.

Bananas are easy to sketch. They have interesting shades of yellow and spots of brown. Oatmeal? Not too much.

...dave
Food is to eat, not to frame and hang on the wall. - William Denton

apartment hunting

apartment hunting
Originally uploaded by daveterry

I set my sunglasses on the agent's desk and wiped my brow. It's 104 degrees outside. We'd just come in from looking at several apartments.

Why? Well, we've sold the five bedroom/3 bath house and are simplifying.

But where do we live now? The house sold too fast, within three weeks. Now what? Maybe we should have thought about this before?

So we went looking for apartments to rent.

The cost of it all! Whoa!

Application fees, deposit fees, gate opener fees, pet fees, cancelation fees...

Yikes! This is nuts.

I'm tired of riding around in golf carts through sprawling park-like grounds looking at tiny apartments with big prices.

A 920 square foot place for $897/month + water + electric + gas + $500 pet fees + deposit + + +

I think I'll just get a box and sleep under the overpass. No dues, no fees, no water...wait, no water? Just the rain on my head?

There must be a better way.

Now I know why Dan Price calls himself the Hobo Artist. Check out Dan's hovel. I wonder if he has a room for rent? Dan?

...dave
So, what exactly are the basics that you think I should get back to? - Anon

egg sandwich lunch

egg sandwich
Originally uploaded by daveterry

A scrambled egg sandwich is the best lunch I could ask for. These are fantastic.

My recipe is the simplest and best:

As the eggs cook I prepare the bread. I use two eggs, never one. One egg is just not enough protein.

I use nutty bread, something whole grain is my preference. Next I slather a helping of mayonnaise followed by some mustard and finally a bit of catchup. Whoa baby, that's livin'.

Here's the best part. Once the bread is prepared, I place the two hot eggs scrambled to perfection, on top. Then just add pepper and a bit of salt.

Warm eggs on whole grain bread. Wow.

Now THAT'S a lunch.

Of course, I can only make these lunches when I work from home. It's not too convenient to pull out an electric skillet in my cube. Although, come to think of it, I really haven't tried.

No, I'll save this extra special treat for when I do a work from home day. I'll sit and eat at the island and stare out at the beautiful flowers that Ruth planted in the garden. And if I have a few extra minutes, I can even sketch my lunch.

What could be a better work day?

...dave
I love eggs fried over medium. - Slick Rick

Dave Terry's Starbucks Tumbler Sketches

Today I stopped off at Starbucks, my favorite place for coffee, and saw their Create Your Own Tumbler thermal mug.

Dave Terry's Starbucks Tumbler Sketches
Originally uploaded by daveterry

So I said to myself: "Self" (because that's what I call myself) "You need one of these to carry your sketches in."

And I replied: "Yeah, yeah I think I do."

So I plunked down 11 frog skins and bought one. Took it home and began crafting an insert. Here's the result.

Feeling left out? Do you want one? Well, you can get a Dave Terry Sketches Insert for your tumbler too! Absolutely free.

Just click on the link, print, cut, and insert.

What could be easier?

Way cool.

...dave
In Seattle you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running. ~ Jeff Bezos

illustrated journaling

illustrated journaling
Originally uploaded by daveterry

I'm back to sketching now.

It's great to be back in the saddle after being away from sketching for sometime.

It doesn't mean I haven't been sketching at all, I have, but just not regularly in my personal journal. So here it is in all its raw form.

These were all done at a class I took from Marilynn Brandenburger at the Spruill Center in Dunwoody Georgia. I took the class to better hone my skills on mixing color, page layout, page balance (writing and images/sketches). All of these areas are part of what I do daily at work so I was glad for the opportunity to go to something local. (My employer was willing to pay for the class.)

illustrated journaling
Originally uploaded by daveterry

Marilynn did a great job of stepping us through the process of blocking, layout, inking, and color balance. One of the bonuses was her education on tools and process. There were several in the class planning trips to other countries and wanted to sketch their journeys. One student is going to Jerusalem. So Marilynn even covered the logistics of a minimum travel sketch kit, what to bring and what to leave at home.

illustrated journaling
Originally uploaded by daveterry

She started showing how to sketch and paint a humble radish. Then we went back to our desks and tried to do the same. Next we advanced to sketching an entirely different item, something we had not seen her sketch or paint (mine was a potato chip bag in my lunch). Next we took our sketch skills on the road and went into the "museum" outside the doors of the classroom of the art center. We tried to sketch sitting on little stools and balancing our tools on our laps. I found this to be most difficult. I really had to simplify my sketch kit down to the bare minimum. Next we sketched from a picture. Then finally on the last day we went into the wild outdoors and tried to sketch sitting in the shade. (The wheelbarrows and rake sketch.) One challenge, among others, was that water dries very quickly outdoors. I had to work fast. I couldn't dilly dally. Get the essence down and move on. "It's only a sketch!"

illustrated journaling
Originally uploaded by daveterry

The running joke was: "Sketch quickly the bus is leaving for the next town."

As we tweaked our sketches and labored over small elements of the sketch she kept saying:

"Remember that you are just doing a sketch and not creating a masterpiece."

She taught us to get the essence down within 30-60 minutes.

"Your travel partner and tour group will not wait for you. It's only a sketch."

If you live in the area and are interested, here are her classes for 2010.

...dave
I draw like other people bite their nails. - Pablo Picasso

Theoretically Related Posts

• Waiting Game

a waiting game

@ the doctors
Originally uploaded by daveterry.

I expect to wait for the doctor when I visit. It really doesn't matter just how sick I am, he makes me wait. I've outsmarted him this time. I brought my sketch journal. And as I sat waiting in the waiting room (it is called a waiting room after all) I sketched one of the chairs that held . . . no one.

Wait a minute, no one? If I'm the only one in this waiting room, why am I waiting? This is bizarre.

There are 25 chairs in this room and all of them are empty. What could the doctor be doing anyway? I imagine him at a desk at the back of the hall, reading the New York Times or a good who-done-it book. He simply can't put the book down until he reaches the end of the chapter. Besides, who would know? The door is closed and the nurses are busy with all the paperwork from the last person.

The patient can, well, just be patient. The doctor has a lot of things to do.

After an hour of waiting I was finally admitted, but not to see the doctor. I had to see his nurse. She was a 250 lb woman whose green garb was so tight I heard the stitches screaming under great strain. When she sat down on the little stool in front of me, I expected the sides of her pants to blow out and see her deflate in a pile in front of me. I thought: No one could be this overweight and be working as a nurse in a health care facility. This must be some sort of a joke. Is this woman for real? Am I on camera?

She was big, did I mention? She set her green open box of torture implements next to me on the examination table. That was a sign. This box was one of those plastic totes that my wife puts cleaning supplies in. Is she going to poison me for interrupting the doctor's reading?

Her stethoscope and blood pressure cuff were knotted in a heap in the box. She was sort of careless with it all. She drug the cuff out over the edge of the plastic tote and up to my arm. (She was using a limited range of motion.) Next she attached the torture implement and pumped my arm until it went numb. I cried "uncle" and she quit.

Then she fetched the swab for the culture. I was fearing the worse because she obviously wasn't schooled in the nuances of bedside manner. I've had this procedure before, and although uncomfortable, it wasn't painful. She stuck the long sticks (there were two) into my mouth and asked me to open wide. Then she jabbed them back into my sore throat with such a force that I gagged and teared. I wasn't coughing when I came in but was coughing when she left the room. I came here to get better, not worse.

Alas the culture was negative but the doctor gave me antibiotics anyway and I went home.

Next time I'll stay home and just drink hot toddies instead.

...dave
My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays. - Joey Bishop