Friday, December 15, 2006

I have a stash

I have a secret stash. Not too many people know about it. It's the best kept secret in the Enterprise. It's maintained by myself only. I keep it quiet. The Enterprise is so large I could hide anything inside these walls. I think I could hide an elephant in the place if I could just get it through security.

But Security is fairly heavy here. You have to thread yourself through narrow isles that resemble cattle guides before a slaughter house. (Hey, now there's an interesting parallel.) They are located at every entry. Alarms will sound if you try to get past without your ID card.

There's some chip in the card that allows passage without alarm. As you scan your ID the computers fetch your mug shot from a database and display it on a monitor for the guard to gaze at. I call my picture a "mug shot" because my ID picture looks like prison photo. (Not that I've been in one.) If you try to get through without your card, alarms will sound and men in dark suits and sunglasses will come out of hidden doors, slap your butt to the ground, handcuff you and put you in the "holding bin." I've never been there but rumor has it that you never leave once inside. Don't believe me though. Some say I have a very active imagination.

Where was I. Oh yeah, elephants. My stash is something less than an elephant. It's a refrigerator with coffee supplies. I've got 6-8 pounds of Peet's coffee stashed inside, and a Brewmaster coffee maker and Starbucks grinder on top. I've also got sugar and cream but I don't make it public. I don't want anyone to think that I sometimes make a wimpy cup. Wimpy cups are black and pure cups that have not been adulterated with creams, sugars, and all those flavored syrups. I drink black coffee. Straight up. Strong and thick. I drink coffee like the old men of the sea. The Old Salts could bring nothing extra aboard their ships. There was no room for sugars and creams. That was back in the old days when men drank black coffee, when men were men and, women were men. Nowadays people are drinking all kinds of stuff. You got all these Starbuck sweet drinks with cream and frilly whipping and swirled chocolate. It ain't coffee anymore. It's dessert!

(written by dave edited by rusty)

"If this is coffee, bring me tea. If this is tea, bring me coffee." - Abraham Lincoln