A Recipe for a work / art bag

I've been experimenting with simpler designs. I want to develop a freer hand and a looser style, especially since I enjoy washing my ink sketches in watercolor.

What's in the mix?

In order to obtain this freer style I find it's best to simplify what I carry in the bag. In going back and forth to work, I need to carry a notebook PC, an 8.5 x 11 work journal and lunch, that's heavy, and I haven't even added any of my sketch paraphernalia.

Mix in a moderate amount of art supplies

The only thing that I add to the heft of my work bag is my 5.5 x 8 journal, a waterproof ink pen, travel watercolor kit of half pans, and a water brush.

A pen?

For the pen, light, quick, and easy are the watch words. Oh, and it must absolutely have waterproof ink so that the page will accept watercolor washes. I usually bring my fine nib Waterman fountain pen, loaded with Bulletproof Noodlers. That's usually what I have with me going to work.

Sometime though I just carry several UniBall Vision Micro pens. I don't care if I loose one, they are easy to clip to my journal without falling out, they have a 0.5 point rollerball tip, and they are filled with jet black water proof ink.

Where to sketch

So when I stop off for breakfast or lunch I simply bring in my journal and pen. (I leave the other stuff in the trunk.) If I'm able to outline some scene in the restaurant with ink, I'm happy. Later at home I try to remember the basic colors of what I saw. However, I often change the colors to be more pleasing. I prefer muted colors in my sketches so I'll often adjust what colors were actually there.

This process gives me the ability to sketch anywhere, without too much notice, and without spending too much time. I want to develop a quicker eye that can capture the essence. It's not necessary to build up so much detail, the eye will fill it in. Color, balance, and interest is what I'm trying to achieve.

Speed Chess

When I was a teen we'd play five minute chess. It's very crazy. I had to make split second decisions given the position of the players on the board at that moment. There was no real thinking ahead other then a few moves. The strategy was that if I played speed chess I'd sharpen my game. First because I could see immediately the success or failure of each move. Second, I'd play more games in any given allotted time.

Quick sketching is like speed chess. You have to make quick decisions with limited tools in a limited time.

So, what's in your bag? Lighten and loosen. If you do, you'll sketch more frequently and you'll soon have more higher quality sketches to share.

...dave
The only difference between bloggers and homeless people who talk to themselves is . . . the the bloggers have computers.

Work Journal Sketching

3/27 Design Journal
Originally uploaded by daveterry.

I've been sort of overworked these days and haven't done much sketching. I start work at 7:00 a.m. and finish at around 6:00 p.m. I have even been working right through lunch. So not a lot of free time. It's rather ludicrous these days. But, don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have a job. Really.

But the truth is, I rarely get out like I used to and sketch at the mall or at Borders during lunch. That's a good time to do some sketching.

As I sat at my desk yesterday, bummed about not being able to sketch, I looked down at my work journal for the next To-Do to accomplish and then it hit me, I've been sketching everyday, in the work journal.

3/26 Design Journal
Originally uploaded by daveterry.

Well, it's true, it ain't people, or buildings, it's more of a design sketchbook, but a sketchbook nonetheless.

So I paged through it looking at some of the stuff in the last couple of months and scanned a few. (There are some notes at flickr.com on the pages itself if you click on any of the pages here.)

I can't go a day without drawing some idea in the book. The book is not really for reviewing the day, although at the end of the week I use it for my status report. But I really use it to help me stay focused on the task at hand.

3/5 Design Journal
Originally uploaded by daveterry.

It's amazing how useful it really is, not just to myself but to my team and even my boss. The other day I was in a meeting when she asked me to pass over my book wherein I'd drawn a diagram of screen design. She copied the sketch into her notes so that she could share with her boss.

In the back I keep an index by subject and what page(s) in the notebook I can find the information.

The numbers are created using an auto-numbering machine I bought a OfficeMax. That way, I can buy my favorite book size and format (8.5 x 11 blank pages please) and add my own numbering.

Page 995 had some notes from a meeting I attended about coaching my team. Occasionally I'll refer back to them for reminders.

(More design journal pages here.)

...dave
I'm not writing it down to remember it later, I'm writing it down to remember it now.

Theoretically Related Posts

• Boring Meetings
• The Lined Work Journal
• A Home Project Journal
• Roz' approach to indexing journals

More sketches

After the China experience everything else seems such a let down. I mean, what can compete against yaks and horse rides to China mountains to eat Naxi meals? I miss it dearly.

But to keep things going here I'm uploading a few sketches I've done in my spare time.

And there is little of that lately. I'm back to work. I mentioned that I was laid off in January 31st. So after two months of interviews, letters, emails and a few offers I get a phone call. I got the call just before I left for China. While off of work in February and March my old company was paying a severance. In other words, was paying me as if I came in each day. That was great. It gave me a parachute for a soft landing. I saved and searched. I even got an offer to teach English in China.

But on April 2nd, two days before the plane took off, I signed an acceptance letter.

I did warn them. I said: "Well, yeah, I'll work for you, but you see, I've got this trip I've been planning for about eight months, to China, for a month."

They told me that's okay, they are glad to have me. And here's the real kicker. I got rehired by the same company that laid me off! Go figure.

I was actually thankful. I keep my seniority, vested stock, and grants. So I look at this 2008 year as my best ever. I got three months paid vacation.

I didn't get hired into the same group. I'm on the business side now. So yeah, it's a cool group I'm working with now. I enjoy the work itself. It's very detailed, which is what I like. I'm looking forward to helping them streamline the process and automate some things to make it all idiot-proof.

Tomorrow I run the department alone. My boss is away on vacation and the other guy is also away, so I'll handle all the requests that come in myself.

It's strange, all the time that I had off has really been busy. I've actually sketched less. And yet I find it very relaxing.

This morning I sketched our curtains. Strange subject I know. The subject doesn't matter, it's the practice that I need. And really, a Sunday morning spent with a sketchbook and coffee is divine.

...dave
I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare. - Steven Wright

Why call it The Enterprise?

Some people wonder why I called my big company "The Enterprise." I guess it's sort of a Star Trek reference. Now that I stop to think about it, there are many similarities.

First off, it is huge. The Enterprise is like a big ship hurling through space with no planned direction. No one knows where we are. No one knows where we are going. Most forget where we came from. Yet they keep yelling down at us from the bridge to hurry up and give it more power.

But we have a shortage of people manning the power stations on ship. People have beamed to other star ships and planets so the crew is depleted. Nonetheless the remaining members frantically turn knobs and pull levers to right the ship and keep it moving in SOME direction, wherever that is.

Also, there are time warps when project managers and VPs tell the CEO that the project will complete on time but I know it'll be months or even a year before we exit the wormhole.

Finally, there are monsters on board. Some of them are outwardly ugly and aggressive, others are cloaked and invisible, still others take on human forms but I can't trust them.

Is your Enterprise similar?

My advice: Beam to another planet or galaxy while there is still time. The Klingons are taking over.

...dave
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Stephen Wright

Telling the family

I promised over a week ago I'd tell you what the fam said when I told them I'd be at home with them more these days. Not always of course, but at least more often, until I found something suitable.

They were elated.

Oh, there were the initial questions like: What will we eat? and What will we drink? and What will be put on? I assured them that all the others who were laid off are worried about the same things.

The good news is I'll be able to finish all my punch list items still remaining to be done on the house. My wife was happy about that. In fact, she pulled out a pencil and paper and started adding to the list.

In my old daily grind, and I DO mean grind, I was up at 6:00, at the Enterprise by 6:40, breakfast & email by 7:15, meetings (often double and triple booked) throughout the day, work through lunch, leave by 5:00 or 5:30. Initially I'd work until 6:30 p.m. Those were crazy hours.

That's all behind me now. Now I get up when I want to. I still make coffee and compose email in the morning (some things never change) but but schedule is blessedly empty.

Well not actually empty. I have a regular pattern of job shopping, networking, emailing, and phone calling but it doesn't start at 6:00.

The best part was this morning, I ate breakfast with the fam. Even if you haven't lost your job you really ought to try this.

...dave
The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem. - Theodore Rubin

Trimming the fat

So I promised to tell you what I did the first day I lost my job. But first let me tell you what I've been doing these past few years.

When I started at the Enterprise I was told it would be a very steady job. Before that I was working for a pre-IPO. It was fine as far as it lasted but when the Internet bubble burst and then 9/11 hit, my world became chaotic. (Great read about Business greed and the Internet: dot.bomb: My Days and Nights at an Internet Goliath.)

Mind you, I was the eighth hired into the pre-IPO company and we increased our employees to 130 within a year. One of the guys they hired was a big wig from one of the Telephony companies. I guess they figured that with his contacts we could get into one of the Baby Bells and we'd be on easy street. While he crisscrossed the country meeting with all the major telephony companies we were back in a California office furiously working to meet a deadline.

He'd come back from his meetings flushed with success and say: "They will buy our software IF it will run on UNIX." Since our software didn't currently run on UNIX but on NT this was a major IF. It was like saying: "The customer will buy the car as long as you put a diesel engine in it."

And so we'd all go out and buy SUN Solaris boxes, crack open the manuals, and start converting our NT COM/DCOM software to UNIX and CORBA. This is not something you do over a weekend. He said: "I promised them something in two months." Two months later we had a working prototype but with crippled functionality.

This kind of craziness happened every week.

When it looked like we might get funded by SUN, I was called into his office and asked if I could get the High Availability modules up and running for a demo by next week. The following week we (my team) had the software built and running in the lab. SUN's business agents came in to watch the demo. We ran the demo, showed fail-over by pulling wires out of the back of the machines. The idea was to show the systems still carried VOIP (voice over IP) when part of the modules failed. We got two million that year.

But then things started deteriorating. People started leaving. People started getting laid off. We went from 130 employees to just 30. I made plans to exit.

When I landed the Enterprise job, which would require a move, my friend told me: "Look, no one wants VOIP but they'll always need toilet seats." Well that did it for me. I thought 'Yeah, why not join a big company and never worry about this kind of craziness again." But it was just the start of real craziness.

The first project I was assigned to was huge. Millions of dollars were allocated to the project. (It's what my old pre-IPO might see in a year.) But then there were back room negotiations. I didn't know what was happening. The project was on and then off again. Finally they decided to give the contract to some outside firm. Soon after that my friend, like a pirate, jumped ship and joined another company. I was chained to the galley so I kept rowing.

I did work on several other projects after that. They were all the same, huge budgets, unbelievable complexity, inept management, and ambivalent support from the top.

So eventually I decided to start cutting my overhead. I sold my big house and moved into a smaller, older one. I fixed it up myself and eventually cut my overhead by half. I'd been in enough roller-coasters to know that eventually they come to a stop. I wanted to have enough left over for another ride.

So when the call came to meet with my boss' boss that ominous January day, I was prepared. When I left the Enterprise I began to calculate how I can make further cuts. Several things came to mind:

1) Do my own shirts
2) Cut the cable
3) Return the flat panel HDTV we had just purchased
4) Make a list of more cuts

So on my way home, instead of stopping at the dry cleaners to drop off my dress shirts, I took them home and washed them myself. I was ironing them when the rest of the family came home.

And now I had to break the news to them.

What to say? Stay tuned and I'll tell you. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

....dave
Don’t ask for it to be easy, ask for it to be worth it. -Dan Kuschell

What were they thinking?

What were they thinking?
Originally uploaded by daveterry.

The great thing about a journal or sketchbook (or if you put them together, an illustrated journal), is that you can travel back in time.

As I read this entry I realize how close to reality I was. The very next day I lost my job. I DO have more time to sketch.

The same company that moved me out here and provided a moving and sign on bonus, is the same company that says the position is now closed.

My boss was also terminated. Hundreds are gone now.

When I got home I received a flood of personal email from so many I've worked with at the Enterprise. One woman said: "When I heard the news I thought, what the **** were they thinking."

But they aren't thinking. They are just reacting. They are trying to meet a quarterly line item in the Profit & Loss Summary. They want Wall Street and the board to be pleased with their performance in this turbulent market and in the oncoming 2008 recession.

The company is flush with cash but they are afraid to spend it. They have no vision.

Visions mean you have to ignore the noise from Wall Street while you get stuff done.

And here's the strange thing: In this year's 360 review, I got the highest scores possible. I received ratings of 5 in almost every area. I'm now convinced that they don't mean a thing.

On Thursday morning at 7:15 a.m. my phone rang. It was my boss' boss calling. This may not be good.

When I arrived into his office he said: "I've only heard great things about you...but, you know, these are hard times. This is the first time I've met you and this makes it hard for me. Of course, if I did know you, it might be harder."

I said: "I remember at our last ALL HANDS meeting the CTO said that we were going to take care of our people first, no matter what. We are family. But I understand hard times." I was actually thinking: "But I guess hard times come before family."

He said: "Well, it doesn't seem much like a family doesn't it?"

And then continued: "We like to encourage folks to leave as soon as possible, you know, because of our sensitive systems. But we've trusted you these past six years so there is no reason why we wouldn't trust you now. Just leave your Blackberry at your desk when you want to go and we'll come up to get it."

"Hey, why don't I just give it to you now, that'll save you the trip."

Of course, there were many brilliant things I wanted to say but there was a stack of manila envelopes he had to give out that day.

He most likely doesn't know that his IT group is supporting the same functionality with three different systems. He doesn't have a deep understanding of what those systems are or what they do. He can't, he's only been with the company two years. He hasn't seen the Data Integration Landscape because my boss hadn't shown it to him yet. He hasn't yet seen the Application Inventory, which includes the health and the support model of those systems. I finished both just days ago. They are hanging on walls throughout the Enterprise like artwork in a museum. He may not get out much. He's been sort of busy.

I packed up my stuff, put it in the car, had breakfast in the cafeteria (because our little chat was at 7:15 am and I still had money on the company issued card) and then walked around and said goodbye to everyone.

I believe that there will be more cuts, and deeper ones, if we are to experience what they predict for 2008.

My advice to anyone that'll listen: Cut your overhead.

You can't depend on your job performance to retain a position in any organization. 2008 is projected to be a very tough year. Lowering your overhead is the single greatest protection against the oncoming storm.

As far as a job goes, working really hard and doing excellent work doesn't mean a thing, especially if management doesn't see or understand it.

Stay tuned. I'll tell you the first steps I took when I got home on Thursday, January 31st. It may also help you cope with the recession.

...dave
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. -Josh Billings

the door is closed

HDR brick and door
Originally uploaded by daveterry.

What's it like crashing to the ground from 100,000 feet? Terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.

The project has been halted.

The project budget was $100,000,000 for a single year. That's huge. But it has vanished into thin air. Most of it spent on consultants and contractors, on shore and off.

In one month alone 6.5 million dollars was given to a vendor for software development. And we never installed the software. We canceled the development. The person that wanted the software has left the company.

Of course I get paid even for failed projects. I get paid to draw boxes and lines. I get paid to meet with people. I get paid to get people to agree on ideas, directions, and well, diagrams with boxes and lines. It doesn't matter that the systems those diagrams represent never get installed.

I could argue it's all futile and ask: "What's the point?" and leave. But then, my checks would stop coming and I'd get kind of hungry.

I view the diagrams I've drawn and consensus building I've accomplished as my successful deliverables, regardless of the project result. If it's determined that there is no money to implement the beautiful pictures I create, I think the pictures themselves are still works of art. They hang on the hallway walls and conference rooms just the same.

This project is similar to many others I've been on. We start them, then stop them, then start them again, often under a different name. Like a car that can't get enough gas, we lunge forward, then lag and die out. We start up again, jump forward and within a few feet cough to a stop.

We have named our dog Stay. "Come Stay, come Stay, come Stay."

The contractors have left, others have moved off to other projects. And so all's quiet on this floor. The cubes are empty.

I sometimes hear phones ringing off in the distance. No one answers. An elevator bings but no one is there and the elevator descends empty to the lobby.

The only sound I hear is, my own typing at this keyboard. I'm working on another project but remain here on the top floor, alone with my coffee pot, pens and beautiful diagrams.

...dave
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Moving stuff

Between meetings we looked outside and down at the traffic below. We saw workmen in big trucks working on the off ramp. One of my associates told me that they had watched the guys move dirt back and forth. Sometimes they moved it back to the same spot as before.

She drew the parallel to some of the projects we have been on. We begin building the software but then because of budget cuts or Business requests have to change the plans and re-build in some other direction.

We laughed and thought about our current project. Just about every possible complex feature has been added but the time lines haven't moved. We go one way for a month or so and then are buffeted toward the opposite way by more features and scope. It's a turbulent sea out here.

I left for lunch to clear my head and get some grub. As I drove out of the parking garage I concluded that:

The sum of most human endeavors is just moving stuff from one place to another.

We just collect stuff throughout our lives and then leave it behind for someone else to collect. The archeologist is the ultimate collector of other peoples stuff. Some people are in the business of selling dead people's stuff. They are called antique sellers.

Even when we go down to the store to buy something, say a necklace, we are really just moving the stuff from the store to our house (or in this case our neck).

Of course, as a software developer, my job is all about moving stuff. I design software to move data from the database to the screen to present to the users. After they type in data from stuff they've collected, I move the stuff into the database where I will move it out again.

That's just the way it is. We are all just moving stuff.

...dave
Try not to become a man of success, but rather a man of value. -Albert Einstein

CNN Towers

CNN towers
Originally uploaded by daveterry.

Here a shot just after an incredible storm. It passed through the center of Atlanta last night.

I love to watch storms. My dad used to tell me about my grandfather who would stand right up to the picture window during violent storms in New York. The lightening would crackle and it's flickering light would cast his shadow long across the floor and up the back wall behind him. I don't like to get that close to storms.

And I don't want to get rained on. And I don't like megawatts shooting through my body. But I love to see the clouds after the storm. They make great photos. And the digital camera is fantastic. After I take the picture I see my photos right away. I don't have to wait for film developing only to discover that I didn't get the right exposure. I get to see it now. I'm from the Now Generation. I want my news now, my coffee now, and my fun now. I don't want to wait.

Which brings me to the last few days of meetings at the Enterprise. I've learned that everyone wants their stuff now. The Business wants their software solution now. Software engineers want their requirements now. Project Managers want their deliverables now. The Business wants the vendor to deliver NOW without requirements. That's as crazy as eating a cake before it's baked.

Talking about half-baked, during the meeting one of my associates suggested an impractical software solution. Lots of people were in the room. Big people. Important people. What he said was very crazy. But everyone knodded in knowing agreement. I leaned over and suggested another solution. Let's call it Solution B. Minutes later he said: "I was just thinking, we could do Solution B."

I keep telling myself that, like a storm, his popularity someday will pass.

It's the clouds after the storm I like the best. I like to stay away from lightning and thunder. I'm a quiet sort of guy.

...dave
There is more to life than just increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Wordsmithing my bio

Okay, so I admit it. I'm impressed by these high falutin titles thrown around here at the Enterprise. I'm feeling a little left out.

And I'm always impressed with the bios (author's biographies) I read on the back of books and in promotion announcements at the Enterprise.

You know what I mean. It's that snappy paragraph (I call a brag blurb) that sums up the grand accomplishments of the person being promoted or the author of the book.

Stuff like: Attended Yale University where they received their Bachelors. Obtained their Masters at Oxford University while stationed there as a paratrooper for the Queen of England. Hobbies: F16 Pilot Major accomplishments: Invented air.

So let me give it a try on my own bio:

Completed his formal education at 17 and soon began his own company doing Business Maintenance. Was solicited by an International Publishing house located in New York City wherein he completed his Computer Science education. He remained in New York City writing Business Systems software for the Publishing giant.

He then transferred to Hawaii to raise a family and start his own Business Computer Consulting company. He designed and wrote software for some of the biggest companies in the 52nd State including Castle & Cooke Properties, AT&T, and Hilton Hotels.

Later he transferred to a California startup. He successfully obtained a patent writing voice over IP software. He was later hired by the second largest retail company in the world. He continues as Software Architect designing Enterprise wide solutions for the firm.

Yeah, that sounds pretty good. I'll keep it, just in case I get promoted or write some book and need a brag blurb for the back cover.

But then, even if you clean up a warthog, he's still a warthog.

...dave
Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it... - Steven Wright

A View From The Top

I sit now at the top floor of our Enterprise Buildings. I'm at the 19th floor now. I've moved from a lower floor and to a better cube. The cube is next to the glass wall of windows that overlook Atlanta. It's a heady move. I also have a bigger cube with wrap around work surface. Which would have been fine in and of itself. The work surface I mean. But the view is grand.

I'm poised with my feet up on the window sill and glass coffee mug just a clutch away. This is the best part of the day. It's just 7:20. Few people have arrived. I've eaten my breakfast of eggs, potatoes, and a single strip of bacon. I have allocated another 20 minutes of writing before I start my day. It's a long day of meetings right through lunch and on into the afternoon. But for now, this is my time just before the craziness starts.

I glance up from my keyboard just past the notebook's screen and look north-eastward. I can see the orange circle raise from the horizon. The morning mist settles in the valleys like fluffy white cotton candy. It glistens in the morning sun.

The traffic below is a hum of bees streaming to work the city hives.

My coffee filters through the Sumatra grounds inside the brewing station. It's perched atop the small refrigerator that holds a small fortune of Peets coffee. (I'm a Peetnic. I get regular premium shipments of Peets coffee every other month. I stash them in my office fridge for fresh keeping.)

The phone is ringing. Time to start the day.

...dave
You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?

Remembering Ian

I was just going through my notes from previous jobs. I keep a work journal and I ran across Ian's name. I remember Ian...

From the journal...

Ian is our QA (Quality Assurance) guy for the project. He tests all our integrated programs. He sits in his cube waiting for the latest release of software modules. Robert will yell to him that some latest release of MarinerTables is available for testing. I think Robert figures he's a happy a junk yard dog eager to snap up scraps tossed to him over the cube walls. Since John came, Ian's life has been easier. John has implemented lots of QA docs and versions and built release directories which help Ian retrieve the latest releases and do his tests. (Robert, John and myself are the C++ programming team.)

Ian's got a tough guy exterior. He wears jean shorts, T-shirts and gym shoes. His socks are the kind that peak just above his hightops but short enough to reveal a Japanese tattoo on the inside of his left leg. He talks under his breath as if to himself when he addresses you. His eyes shift to the side as he talks like he's letting you in on a secret that he hasn't leaked to anyone else. He kind of swaggers as he walks. He takes his time getting to where he's going. No hurry. He reminds me of a cowboy in a Western that's packin' a colt strapped to his thigh. He'd be a good Hawaiian replacement for Hans Solo. His voice quality is typical of local guys, soft and gentle and easy to listen to. There's a lilt that he adds to the front of his sentences but then he drops his volume as if to telegraph to you that you don't have to listen if you've got other things to do.

You can't see the color of his cube walls for all the paper pinned up inside. He never cleans his desk nor does he throw away any paper. In fact, I've never seen his trashcan have anything in it but the liner. I once commented about the piles of paper on his desk top but he claims he can fetch any paper I ask for: "What do you want me to find?" he once challenged me.

He's very health aware and uses free weights for exercise. He reads labels of food products for a hobby. He tells me what the ingredients do to the human body. "Do you really know what you are eating?" he asked me as I scarfed down a hot dog.

He makes fun of the "Big Dog" polo shirts I wear and askes if I stitched the insignia on myself. He feels a guy with my lite frame size has no business wearing "Big Dog" polo shirts. Since I know all about his exercise program, it's best I don't disagree.

...dave
Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy! - Hans Solo

Office Supplies

Things have been getting a little less crazy around the Enterprise these days.

Yet, I often feel as though I'm still riding in the short bus. Somehow I've been locked inside and the normal world is out there somewhere beyond my reach. I'm lost in all the chaos and craziness. I’m on the inside looking out. I'm banging on the bus windows at the people outside. I'm trying to get their attention but it’s in vain. Why am I not with the normal people? Why aren’t they looking this way? But the bus moves forward. I sit back down and scribble away in my journal. This helps me hold on to my sanity.

Just last week one of my workmates came to me complaining that they can't get common office supplies without sacrificing their firstborn.

"what do you mean?" I ask.

"Oh, whenever I ask for a new pen I have to turn in my old used inkless one."

I had to visualize this for a moment. You can get a new Bic pen only if you show you need it by turning in your used inkless pen. How bizarre. These pens must cost the Enterprise all of a cent a piece? Lunacy.

"Do you also have to turn in your used legal pad when you request a new one?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, written on both sides!"

We all started laughing.

"We are starting to write our project plans on any surface we can find, including bathroom walls."

More laughter.

Then someone else said: "We could have our meetings there too. Then we don't have to try to find a conference room. There would be plenty of seats."

Even more laughter.

I think working at the Enterprise is so entertaining.

…dave
When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets kind of crowded. – Stephen Wright

Presentations

One of my jobs at the Enterprise is putting together presentations for Directors and VPs to help them understand the systems they are responsible for.

I build short presentations with the highest content. I figure that the VPs and Directors have limited time so I can't include all the details. I'm careful with my word choice and use lots of white space. The objective is to convey the essence of the computer systems and how they interact.

I was asked to put something together by a VP. I solicited feedback from a director, another software architect, and a systems programmer. I didn't want to miss any key elements.

So today I went before the VP with my "deck." (A "deck" is a stack of paper with words and diagrams. I don't know why they call it a deck. They just do.) The director and the other software architect were seated at the table across from me.

We got to page three and the VP began to type on his Blackberry so I stopped in mid-sentence. He finished and I continued. Soon again he was typing away on his Blackberry. I stopped. This continued throughout the meeting. This is why I can only cover 20 minutes of content in a one hour meeting.

We finally got back on track. While I was in the middle of explaining some nuance of the system he interrupted me with a quote from a movie. He asked me what movie the quote was from. I didn't know. He told me I ought to frequent the theaters more often if I expected to move to the next level. Seemed a strange comment for the context.

When I came to the part about including another business unit in our next design of the system, he went off on a tangent and used his middle finger to illustrate his point.

I paused, blinking back the shock. After that little outburst we returned to the deck. Next he began running his pen through some words in his copy. One of my sentences read: "The application is a pure HTML Internet facing solution."

He took issue with that. He complained that "Internet" and "HTML" were redundant. "Just say HTML." He also told me to remove the word "pure" since there was no such thing as "pure HTML."

I was shocked. I just couldn't believe my ears. I was looking down at the page and my vision began to blur. I looked up and imagined him wearing a Bozo wig and red nose. It was that weird. I swear I heard organ grinders and saw monkeys sitting around the table.

How could a VP in IT be so ignorant?

If you are ignorant, at least be silent.

I simply can't tolerate mediocrity.

There was no desire to understand the systems. I was simply entertainment.

...dave
Quote: Everything I've ever done was out of fear of being mediocre. -Chet Atkins

Performance Reviews

Ah, it's that time again. Performance Reviews. Don't ya just love 'em. I really look forward to mine. It's always great fun and very entertaining if a bit dicey.

And you know, if I were a kid just out of school, I know I'd take them more seriously. But I'm far too experienced to expect these things are intended to be helpful to me.

Mine started out with a bang. My Director said: "Let's start with the rearview mirror."

The rearview mirror? Did I miss something. Is this driving school? I thought I was getting a performance review.

But I said: "Rearview mirror?"

"That's what I like to call it since we are looking backward at what you've done."

Oh, I get it, rearview mirror. Cute. Sorry, you almost lost me there.

And so it went. All this Enterprise jargon. We talked about my 360 and my rearview mirror and my four-blocker.

Of course I've had eight bosses since joining the Enterprise just five years ago. That means each year one boss makes the recommendations for improvement but another boss gives the assessment of my progress. This year was no different. In fact, this year my new boss REVERSED what my previous boss said last year!

But of course the current boss is always required to say something good and then say what they want me to improve on. It's always a surprise. And that's my gripe. Why should it be a surprise? A really great boss would have been working with me all along.

This time I was told that I do great work, in fact, quick work, but it needs more quality. So I asked for an example. There was only one. In drawing a diagram for the VPs and Directors I missed a connecting line between two boxes representing computer systems.

And I had remembered that discussion so I asked: "You mean the time I drew the diagram but an hour later the strategy was changed in a meeting I wasn't in?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"But I wasn't invited. I didn't even know it was happening."

"So, It's your fault for not getting invited."

You must be kidding? You can't be serious. Is this your only example of "lack of quality"?

Am I on Candid Camera?

It could be worse. One of my associates told me her husband (who works for another big Enterprise) was told that he'd never reach the next level until he cleaned off his desk and wore better clothes. Seems the CEO told everyone that because the next day the whole company was wearing slacks.

So that got me to thinking. Could I type better if my desk was cleaner? Could I type faster if I wore better clothes? Maybe I ought to wear a suit? (I already wear slacks and sport shirt.)

Maybe a cleaner desk could help me produce diagrams with straighter lines.

If I dressed in a suit, maybe I'd get invited to more meetings.

...dave
Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius. -Fulton J. Sheen

Cafeteria Open Time

I was standing around this morning waiting for the cafeteria to open. That's the second time this week. What's going on? I asked "Bubba" my chef: "Hey what's up with the cafeteria? Did someone change the time or something?"

"Yeah, the new guy decided to change it from 6:30 to 6:45."

I'm thinking 'What could possibly motivate someone to move it 15 minutes?' and 'Who is The New Guy?' so I asked.

"Our new CEO decided that 6:45 is a better time for the morning. The previous CEO thought that leaving the cafeteria open until 10:00 was too late so you'll remember it was changed to 8:30 a.m."

No I don't remember because I never go down to the cafeteria at 10:00 a.m. But then, who cares when people go down to eat breakfast or grab a cup of coffee? What's with all this control-freak CEO stuff anyway? You mean to tell me that the CEO is making the decision on something as mundane as the open time of the cafeteria? Ludicrous!

And he thinks that by closing the cafeteria at 8:30 a.m. he'll get lazy people to stay at their desks? He's mad. If we've got lazy people fire them! The more laws you make the less control you have. If the bosses of those lethargic souls can't control their own people, then they should be fired.

I'm dying to hear why the new CEO moved the open time from 6:30 to 6:45. That'll be my next question to Bubba when I come in tomorrow.

I thought CEOs focus on the P & L (Profit and Loss) and on the customer and the stock and stuff like that. I never imagined they determined the cafeteria open time. No wonder they have to work the weekends. They have to make all those important decisions.

...dave
Men are at war with each other because each man is at war with himself. -Francis Meehan

I work in a snow globe

I swear, I work in a snow globe. There's always a blizzard blowing. And no sooner it settles down, someone comes along and shakes it up again. I feel like the little man on the snow plow. I get up, brush myself off, and plow new paths in the snow. That's the way it is in the Enterprise.

Every month it seems there is a reorganization. Every week we get a new VP. Every day there is some new process to follow. Just about the time I figure out who I should partner with for the projects I work on it changes. Someone keeps shifting the organization boxes on me. I'm a fairly flexible guy but this is driving me crazy. Stop shaking stuff up.

I think they believe that no one lives in my snow globe. Most people find it hard to believe that anyone lives in a snow glob. When's the last time you looked carefully inside a glob, at the little homes in there? Did you ever stop to think that someone might be living in one of those houses? I thought not. But someone does. I do.

There is so much turnover in the Enterprise that few people know how our systems work anymore. Things break, it takes an army to fix and twice as long to understand it. The cost is double. An organization chart doesn't exist, nor can it because it changes so frequently. Who I report to today may not be who does my review tomorrow.

Every time they shake up the organization everything goes topsy-turvy. There's a blizzard all around, houses tumble and I lay disabled on my back waiting for the snow to settle. But I just run the snow plow. When the snow settles and the houses right themselves, I jump back on my plow and start making new partnership paths in the snow. I start a new network of people.

But I do wish someone would stop shaking up my world.

...dave
Technology does not run an enterprise, relationships do. - Patricia Fripp

Morning Faces

Morning Faces

I think morning faces are most important. Even though I may be half asleep when I get up, the faces I see the first thing in the morning are memorable.

For me, I see no faces until I walk into the Enterprise. The first morning face I see is the Security Guard. He's an old codger, balding on top and gray at the temples. He stands at the Security Entry Desk. I can see him from halfway down the hall. I smile and wave but he really doesn't respond. Maybe he's near-sighted? I don't know.

As I approach the cattle gates, he looks my way but still will not say anything. I'll swipe my security card across the cattle gate. That's what I call them because at key times of the day people go through single file in or out the narrow isles.

Anyway, I see the guard halfway down the isle and I say "hello" but he doesn't respond until I pass through the gate. The gate makes a bing noise and the light glows green. I'm through. Then he'll say "Good Morning." It's almost like he's somehow attached to the green light that gives me the go. Maybe somehow he's tethered to the gate's green light? Maybe he's not real. He may just be a manican. Come to think of it, I've never seen him actually move from behind the desk. He reminds me of one of those animatronics I've seen at a Disney theme park. He just smiles and waves and pivots at the waste as I pass. I really think there's a direct connection. He kind of lights up, like the gate, when I come through.

Then there is the guy that wands my cafeteria card. The Enterprise instituted a "cash-less" cafeteria. You receive a card with a chip on it. You charge up the chip from special machines in the lobby with bills you feed into a machine. As you purchase food in the cafeteria the special registers read your card and deduct the amount. Jimmy, the guy that's usually there in the morning when I come in, takes my card, stuffs it into the slot, pounds at the flat screen software buttons and returns my card. He resembles a robot. His movements are stiff, jerky, and metallic-like. He never smiles or says "hello." He just processes your transaction. It's so odd because I see him each and every day, each and every morning, but I can't seem to get him to smile or say anything out of his programmed announcement of the amount remaining on my card. It's my special challenge to get him to step out of character, to hack into his firmware and get him to do something he wasn't programmed for.

And then there's another co-worker or two that come over in the morning to ask what's new on the house or how was my weekend. Those are the morning faces I see each day.

I wonder what morning faces others see? Mine are kind of mechanical. I wonder if others have more human contacts in the morning?

...dave

The Demise of the Enterprise

Everything is shutting down. Like a patient in intensive care it's breathing, but just barely. Being on life support is just existence, not life. And that's exactly what is happening in the Enterprise. The life is gone. There is no zest, no excitement. It's just an existence on a respirator. The lights come one, people show up, they do work, they go home, and it all starts again the next day. Like zombies of the enterprise, they walk, they talk, they work, but they are lifeless.

The quality of working life is non-existent. There is no Office Supply area near the copier like there used to be. Just empty shelves and a few bent paper clips. There are a few discarded manila folders scared by torn paper labels. And some old binders with clear sleeve fronts still proclaiming the title of the old contents. But the sleeve insert is long gone, as well as the contents. The title remains because the toner residue stained the cover.

From the moment I enter the Enterprise it's apparent that this was once a great ship. But like all ships exposed to the elements, it needs care. The bridges connecting the parking decks with the main office buildings leak with rain water, water stains bleed through the ceiling paint. It's taken some time for the Enterprise to atrophy. It takes three miles to stop an oil tanker. This Oil Tanker's pilot has gone to sleep and the ship has run aground. And like any ship, it's beauty has become tarnished by inaction. And like the Titanic, it has been left to rot at the bottom of the quarterly Profit and Loss sheets. There is no vision or budget to improve itís function.

Contractors and off-shore workers are hired and "let go" as frequently as I change my underwear. Everyday someone different has joined the team . . . or left the team. Everyday someone different is on the phone in my conference calls. Who are these people? What function do they provide? Titles like: "Program Manager" and "Business Services Tech Lead" are used describe their function. Okay, but what do they actually DO? "It's undetermined. Further information will become available." they tell me.

Money, the hoarding of great sums of cash, is the cause of the Enterprise demise. Only quarterly reports and Wall Street expectations drive what the executives spend budgets on. While they all take home large pots of gold, rewards for keeping the enterprise lean, I buy my own office supplies for my 6x7 foot cube. While the executives all take home millions in salary and still more millions in bonuses, I remain at the same basic level as when I arrived five years ago.

The execs do business in their large panel offices and panoramic views. I step around the "Slippery when wet" signs that warn of the rain puddles from the leaking ceilings. The execs park their company issued BMW 745s in assigned spots near the door, but I walk up and down the parking levels after parking my Camry in whatever available spot I can find. All of them order free steak and lobster from their private chef and eat on the penthouse floor while I must buy my own roast beef sandwich in the company cafeteria on the ground floor.

Everything is shutting down. Even the mail carts on rails are "temporally out of order until further notice." Now I must take a trip to the basement to get my trade magazines. I use them to keep abreast of technology. Seems strange doesn't it? The technology that used to deliver the mail is inactive so I must walk to the basement to get my own magazines on technology.

It's just a matter of time before the patient dies. All the investors are standing around the bed looking down at the barely breathing skeletal frame, expecting death soon. No one wants to pull the plug. No one has the authority to end it now. so they wait. But the patient has really already died. The eyes are closed. There's no communication. The brain has expired. There comes a point when the respirator is no longer prolonging life, it's prolonging death. It just ain't going to get any better. Someone should be brave and pull the plug. Free the bed for someone that will respond to care.

...dave
Where there is no vision, the people perish. - Proverbs 29:18