Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Wordsmithing my bio

Okay, so I admit it. I'm impressed by these high falutin titles thrown around here at the Enterprise. I'm feeling a little left out.

And I'm always impressed with the bios (author's biographies) I read on the back of books and in promotion announcements at the Enterprise.

You know what I mean. It's that snappy paragraph (I call a brag blurb) that sums up the grand accomplishments of the person being promoted or the author of the book.

Stuff like: Attended Yale University where they received their Bachelors. Obtained their Masters at Oxford University while stationed there as a paratrooper for the Queen of England. Hobbies: F16 Pilot Major accomplishments: Invented air.

So let me give it a try on my own bio:

Completed his formal education at 17 and soon began his own company doing Business Maintenance. Was solicited by an International Publishing house located in New York City wherein he completed his Computer Science education. He remained in New York City writing Business Systems software for the Publishing giant.

He then transferred to Hawaii to raise a family and start his own Business Computer Consulting company. He designed and wrote software for some of the biggest companies in the 52nd State including Castle & Cooke Properties, AT&T, and Hilton Hotels.

Later he transferred to a California startup. He successfully obtained a patent writing voice over IP software. He was later hired by the second largest retail company in the world. He continues as Software Architect designing Enterprise wide solutions for the firm.

Yeah, that sounds pretty good. I'll keep it, just in case I get promoted or write some book and need a brag blurb for the back cover.

But then, even if you clean up a warthog, he's still a warthog.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it... - Steven Wright