Extractions

I'm slowly getting dumber. I just had my last two wisdom teeth pulled. That's four wisdom teeth pulled within the year. I am getting lighter. I do feel as though I've lost a bit of weight.

My favorite part of this whole ordeal is the going under. I may have mentioned this before. But I'm telling you it's great. They plunge the needle into the vein, administer the drug and I'm out. I wake up missing two teeth and with stitches in my jaw.

The really, really best part is going to Jamba Juice after the appointment. Ruth takes me to Jamba Juice to get a protein drink. I can't eat eight hours before the surgery. The appointment was at 2:30 p.m. I was hungry. So Jamba Juice is a great treat. It's like getting ice cream after having your tonsils out. It's like getting a happy face sticker at the dentist. Or it's like getting a box of 64 Crayola crayons and a new coloring book when you're sick. Remember the crayon sharpener built right into the back of the box? Very cool.

But I digress.

...dave
“I'll bet the hardest thing about prize fightin' is pickin' up yer teeth with a boxin' glove on.” - Kin Hubbard

Rinse with water

At my last visit to my hygienist she suggested I drink water after my morning coffee. She's the one that has to clean my teeth and remove the coffee stains. She says it'll help keep the pearlys, well, pearly.

So now I keep a water jug on my desk. It's not JUST a jug but a filtered jug. Ruth picked it up from Costco I think. You just dump in the water, it filters through the carbon center, and drips fresh tasting, clear, sparkling water out the bottom.

So now I "rinse" after drinking my morning coffee. What a difference it's made. And I no longer get in trouble when I go to the hygienist.

Drink more water!

...dave
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. -Stephen Wright

Eric's Wisdom - Gone

Eric just had his wisdom teeth extracted this week -- all four of them! Ouch. He went under on Thursday for an hour. After it was all done Ruth came to pick him up. He was so groggy, they couldn't get him out of the chair.

I remember some months ago I had the same problem. I felt this peaceful bliss, a floating feeling, a fogged view of the world. I would hear voices and couldn't distinguish if they were from my dreams or they were real. I saw Ruth's face appear before me and ask (her voice out of sync with her mouth): "How are you feeling?" Great, dude, awesome. My periodontal work was a walk in the park compared to this!

But enough about me, let's talk about Eric. Thursday evening, when I went to bed, he was laying with an ice bag on his jaw. Poor guy. Ruth got him a Jamba Juice because he needed something nourishing inside. He hadn't eaten in about 16 hours.

I went out to get his drugs, ah, you know, the prescribed kind. I drove up to the window, looked up at the girl, gave her my name, she gave me the drugs and I paid $2.30 for four bottles and left. Whoa! When is the last time I paid that kind of pocket change for medication? Last time I bought medication it cost the equivalent of a trip to Hawaii. For example, we just got the bill for his leg. He got some stitches, and it came to $1200! For two stitches? He was out at Atlanta's Centennial Park doing some parkour and rammed his shin into a handrail. It's healing up fast. In fact, he decided to take the stitches out himself to save a few bucks. Crazy kid. So now he's a limping-lock-jawed parkour kid. "Ah, they're young, he'll bounce back." Ruth says.

Anyway, tonight I got us a few flicks to watch to help pass the time. One of them was Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious and the other was The Italian Job. The latter was a heist movie, cool chase scenes and some pyromania. Notorious was a classic black and white. I want Eric to see some of these classics.

I don't know, it's becoming harder and harder getting flicks I want to watch. I spent an hour in Blockbuster combing the isles for something not violent, not gory, not perverted and not demonized. Very hard. Most films had two or three of those elements and many had all four! As just a rough estimate, I'd say 50% were "R" rated. I can't believe people are watching this stuff. One woman at work told me she took her 13 year old to a flick and covered his eyes several time during the movie! Tell me this makes any sense. I really believe exposure to this results in the reality we see on the news -- but that's another rant.

I'm hoping Eric will feel well enough for our trip out to NYC. He's really getting excited about it. He wants to do some parkour in NYC's Central Park. At least there, the cops wouldn't try to arrest him for doing flips in a park like they want to here in Georgia. Seems like every time he goes to a park some over zealous billy-club-carrying guy in a cap and blue uniform tells them to get off the grass, or get off the wall, or get out of the park. They do (he usually goes with a buddy). I guess parks, like movies, are not what they used to be. You know, a place where you can romp and play. The boys never push it. They just leave to find another park. Thankfully. I'd hate to get a call from the local precinct. I mean, don't you just hate it when you get a call from the local police to come pick up your kid from prison?

That would be a bummer, especially if I were in the middle of watching a movie.

...dave
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others. -Groucho Marx

"Teeth like to touch."

As I got up from the dental chair the hygienist said: "Teeth like to touch." She was explaining that my crown would seek it's position against the other teeth around it. She said that teeth "float" in the gums, "seeking their neighbors."

It almost sounded poetic to me. I thought: People are a lot like that too. They each "float" within their individual boundaries. Yet, they touch others in direct or sometimes subtle ways.

One of our secretaries also used to be a hygienist. People would always complain about brushing and flossing their teeth. "Do I have to brush and floss EVERY day?" They'd ask her. "No" she'd answer, "brush only the ones you want to keep."

Friendships take maintenance too. Without proper care, you'll lose them too I suppose. You only have to maintain the ones you want to keep.

"Teeth like to touch." "Brush the ones you want to keep." I like that.

...dave
I guess, in the case of a dog with VERY bad halitosis, his bark WOULD be worse than his bite. -Dave Terry

Periodontal Work

I've been dreading this day and I wish there was some way to avoid it. But the time has come, and I'm walking into the doctor's office now. Ruth has kissed me goodbye, it may be my last, and parts with the advice: "Be brave."

"Yeah, well I am brave. I don't need no one telling me anything about being brave. Let's see you go under! Yeah, I thought so."

At the consultation meeting two weeks before, the doctor explained what he was going to do. It wasn't pretty. He drew a picture in pencil on the back of the admissions form I had filled out. He explained that he was going to slice the gum, fill in the missing bone with glass beads, stitch it up, and we'd hope the bone would grow over the glass fill. This kind of sounded major, so I asked a few interview questions. Questions like: How many years have you been doing this? How often? What is your success rate? Inquiring minds need to know.

He was very friendly and assured me his eight years of experience meant that he was, well, experienced. "This is my bread and butter, it is the equivalent of going to a dentist for a filling." he assured me. He then interviewed me. He asked about my medical history and any current medications I might be taking. He must have sensed my lack of bravery because he said he'd give me something intravenously to relax me when he operates. I felt some tension release from my shoulders.

When I opened the office door today, there were four others in the waiting room. We all waited. That's why it's called a Waiting Room, you've got to wait. I used my time wisely. I went to the bathroom to empty the bladder of the rest of my tea. (You never purchase fluids, remember, you only rent them.)

I went in to surgery at 10:50 after signing my life away. I signed the consent form in the secretary's office. There were many phrases on the paper that were disconcerting. Statements like: "This procedure could result in further damage and additional dental work. There could be permanent nerve damage. Remember, Dentistry is not an exact science." Yeah? Well it needs to be, because you are exactly poking around in my mouth! Dentistry is not an exact science by eye! Thanks for informing me now. I'm feeling better about my operation in the next room. (Is it too late to bail?) They walked me to the operating room.

Dr. Faler warmly greeted me and gestured toward, The Chair. I sat down and he began to search for my vein using needles. He stuck me three times but had no success, once in both hands and once in my right arm. He said that the veins kept "blowing out", whatever THAT means. It sure doesn't sound good. He was surprised, he'd never had so much trouble finding purchase with a needle. Finally, on the forth vein he hit a gusher. He asked the assistant to start the drip. He said he'd now give me something to relax me and I'd have amnesia. I remember thinking it was just a euphemism and there'd be some realization that I was undergoing a serious operation on my gums. The next thing I remember was the doctor tapping me on my shoulder. He asked if I was alright. I said I was, and then became aware that I had slipped off into, what seemed to me, a brief sleep. He said: "Well, we are finished." Huh? What? Finished?

Wow, that stuff was powerful. I couldn't believe it. All finished? I lay back and contemplated this suggestion. I just wanted to sleep a little more. He told me to rest. The next thing I remember was Ruth tapping me on the shoulder asking me if I'm alright. Why does everyone keep waking me up to ask if I'm alright, can't they see I'm sleeping? What I didn't realize is that an hour and a half had passed since 11:50 when I walked in.

I felt no pain, nothing at all, I was fine. Dr. Faler placed some gooey stuff, like Silly Putty, on my gums to cover the stitches. But other than feeling like I have chewing gum stuck to the roof of my mouth, I felt just great. I felt very rested.

The assistant helped me out to the car (I guess they needed the chair, it was so comfortable) and Ruth took me to some place like Jamba Juice for a smoothy. It was a beautiful day, about 80 degrees out. So we sat on the wrought iron chairs and enjoyed our lunch.

I felt rested from the sleep. Maybe I can get some more of that stuff. When's my next appointment?

...dave
"Mom, do I have to brush all my teeth?"
"No, just the ones you want to keep."