Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Periodontal Work

I've been dreading this day and I wish there was some way to avoid it. But the time has come, and I'm walking into the doctor's office now. Ruth has kissed me goodbye, it may be my last, and parts with the advice: "Be brave."

"Yeah, well I am brave. I don't need no one telling me anything about being brave. Let's see you go under! Yeah, I thought so."

At the consultation meeting two weeks before, the doctor explained what he was going to do. It wasn't pretty. He drew a picture in pencil on the back of the admissions form I had filled out. He explained that he was going to slice the gum, fill in the missing bone with glass beads, stitch it up, and we'd hope the bone would grow over the glass fill. This kind of sounded major, so I asked a few interview questions. Questions like: How many years have you been doing this? How often? What is your success rate? Inquiring minds need to know.

He was very friendly and assured me his eight years of experience meant that he was, well, experienced. "This is my bread and butter, it is the equivalent of going to a dentist for a filling." he assured me. He then interviewed me. He asked about my medical history and any current medications I might be taking. He must have sensed my lack of bravery because he said he'd give me something intravenously to relax me when he operates. I felt some tension release from my shoulders.

When I opened the office door today, there were four others in the waiting room. We all waited. That's why it's called a Waiting Room, you've got to wait. I used my time wisely. I went to the bathroom to empty the bladder of the rest of my tea. (You never purchase fluids, remember, you only rent them.)

I went in to surgery at 10:50 after signing my life away. I signed the consent form in the secretary's office. There were many phrases on the paper that were disconcerting. Statements like: "This procedure could result in further damage and additional dental work. There could be permanent nerve damage. Remember, Dentistry is not an exact science." Yeah? Well it needs to be, because you are exactly poking around in my mouth! Dentistry is not an exact science by eye! Thanks for informing me now. I'm feeling better about my operation in the next room. (Is it too late to bail?) They walked me to the operating room.

Dr. Faler warmly greeted me and gestured toward, The Chair. I sat down and he began to search for my vein using needles. He stuck me three times but had no success, once in both hands and once in my right arm. He said that the veins kept "blowing out", whatever THAT means. It sure doesn't sound good. He was surprised, he'd never had so much trouble finding purchase with a needle. Finally, on the forth vein he hit a gusher. He asked the assistant to start the drip. He said he'd now give me something to relax me and I'd have amnesia. I remember thinking it was just a euphemism and there'd be some realization that I was undergoing a serious operation on my gums. The next thing I remember was the doctor tapping me on my shoulder. He asked if I was alright. I said I was, and then became aware that I had slipped off into, what seemed to me, a brief sleep. He said: "Well, we are finished." Huh? What? Finished?

Wow, that stuff was powerful. I couldn't believe it. All finished? I lay back and contemplated this suggestion. I just wanted to sleep a little more. He told me to rest. The next thing I remember was Ruth tapping me on the shoulder asking me if I'm alright. Why does everyone keep waking me up to ask if I'm alright, can't they see I'm sleeping? What I didn't realize is that an hour and a half had passed since 11:50 when I walked in.

I felt no pain, nothing at all, I was fine. Dr. Faler placed some gooey stuff, like Silly Putty, on my gums to cover the stitches. But other than feeling like I have chewing gum stuck to the roof of my mouth, I felt just great. I felt very rested.

The assistant helped me out to the car (I guess they needed the chair, it was so comfortable) and Ruth took me to some place like Jamba Juice for a smoothy. It was a beautiful day, about 80 degrees out. So we sat on the wrought iron chairs and enjoyed our lunch.

I felt rested from the sleep. Maybe I can get some more of that stuff. When's my next appointment?

...dave
"Mom, do I have to brush all my teeth?"
"No, just the ones you want to keep."

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Disorganized

It's been said that the organization at the bottom reflects what's up at the top. If there is confusion among the grunts, there is disorganization among the grunt's leaders. How true this is became very apparent in today's meetings.

As soon as I arrived in the meeting with the VIPs and the CIO there was discussion about a major part of the organization. It's a discussion I've had with sever at my level. Now I know what there is so much confusion. It hasn't been figured out at the top!

Funny, really, that all these folks at the top, with all their MBAs, can't figure this stuff out. At least it was entertaining. If the organization where strata, I'd be at the lowest level. It's all good though. Several of the VPs have come and gone. Lots of fur flies and there is some bleeding. For me, everything is the same. And that's a good thing.

When I've invited to a meeting like today's, I just bring my popcorn and soda and watch the show.

I just left early today at about 3:30 and went to my speaking assignment, never looked back. There were 287 in attendance.

...dave
Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Flashcard Exchange

I'm always looking for new ways to remember the Chinese words and characters. I've made my own cards that eventually get dog-eared and battered.

Sometimes it's great to have a stack of cards to run through at boring meetings. I'll just reach into my pocket and flip through (under the table) as the presenters drone on about some project of theirs. It's not that I'm NOT interested, it's just that I'm in so many meetings that if I don't bring some reading materials, I'll get nothing else done!

Anyway, I discovered a great site that lets me build flash cards on line, for free. You type in text for your front and back, press the save button, and name the file. That's it. All for free. Any here's the best part, you can share your deck with others. Just on a lark I thought I'd see if anyone else has already created cards. There were three pages of Chinese flash cards already created. Very cool.

If you register for about $16, you can export, import and save other's sets of cards. Why not?

...dave
I am learning all the time.� The tombstone will be my diploma.� ~Eartha Kitt

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Grammar and Punctuation

I never thought I'd enjoy this stuff, but I do. In our second day of Business Writing Class I was actually looking forward to proofreading my next document,strange but true.

I didn't really understand the difference between editing and proofreading. Editing is re-working the text to beter convey your point, it's subective. Proofreading though, is applying writing rules of grammer to the already edited document. It's the last thing you do before sending your work out.

I discovered the four main sentence types. A simple sentence says one thing. A compound sentence contains two ormore independent clauses, but are joined by a conjunction. A complex sentence contains one independent clause, although one or more dependent clauses are included. A compound-complex sentence is two independent clauses, the clauses must be able to stand alone, and one or more dependent clauses. (Did you notice the four main types above? Cute huh?)

Several of the appendices were helpful if short. The commonoly misused words was excellent. Words like affect/effect, decent/descent/dissent, and imply/infer were explained. The teached added a few more such as: anxious, full of worry, and eager, enthusiastic.

And how many times have you seen �10 items or less� at the grocery store when what they really mean is �10 items or fewer�? (Less is used when the number is unknown. �There is less dessert then before.� Fewer is used when you can count �there are fewer pies now.� Of course, looking at the quantity of items these shoppers carry through these lines, it's clear they don't know how to count. )

I'm not yet qualified to be a New York Times editor, but I am updating my resume.

...dave
My life needs editing. -Mort Sahl

Monday, March 21, 2005

Writing Class

It's true, but I hate to admit it. I'm taking a writing class. I'll finally learn how to write. I've always wanted to know. Just think, in two days I'll be a great writer. Wow, I'm already half way there. It'll be great to really know what I'm doing, or at least know what I'm doing wrong.

Today was the easy stuff, you know, outlining who you are writing for and why. Tomorrow will be tougher, it's on grammar. Maybe I no need dat stuff, huh?

Niki, our instructor, had some cool quotes:

"If you are happy with your job, you don't have to work a day in your life."

and...

"If they complement you, it's fact. If they criticize you, it's just their opinion."

Neither were quotes she made up but were motivation quotes from others.

She does a lot of listening to self-help motivational tapes and CDs. She dedicates 15 minutes each day listening to these tapes. Of course, she needs to project a self-confident image. She's very engaging. Her body language reflects helpfulness, collaboration, and inclusion. In other words she's very interesting to listen to and you get the feeling that we are all learning together, including her.

She talked about the basic four types of people, Relators, Socializers, Thinkers, and Directors and why it's important to understand your audience before writing a word.

Since we talk to ourselves constantly, at least internally, it's important to have high self esteem. Otherwise our negative view of ourselves will come out in our writing, and few people like to be around or read negative people. I guess that's true. I just never gave it close consideration. That's why these classes are so good. They give you a chance to observe how you think and why, all within a safe environment.

I just remember reading in "On Writing Well" by Zinsser: "Easy writing, hard reading. Hard writing, easy reading." It takes effort to put together words and sentences that others enjoy reading. Regardless of the subject, my desire is to write well enough that people will become absorbed. The words should tell the story but not get in the way. I think it's like watching a movie, you should forget that all the people on the screen are acting. You should be sucked in and time should fly.

Tomorrow will be harder but maybe it'll make this blog easier to read, finally!

...dave
Writers would be warm, loyal, and otherwise terrific people--if only they'd stop writing. -Laura Miller from a review of the movie Finding Forrester

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Surely You're Joking!

Richard Feynman was a Physics Professor and won a nobel prize in 1965 for his work in quantum electrodynamics QED.

What makes him approachable is his rather irreverent view of anything or anyone that claims to know it all. He has written books on some of his complex theories on QED but what I enjoy most is his two books, "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman" and "What do you care what other people think?"

The first describes his many adventures including a social engagement where he said he could sniff out which book several of the guests handled in the library, sort of like a blood hound. He talks about Project Manhattan (at Los Alamos lab) where the atomic bomb was designed. He also talks about some of the safes he learned to crack while there.

In the second book he describes the presidential commission he was part of to determine the cause of the Challenger space shuttle explosion and of course his break through and discovery of the failure of the o-rings.

None of his words are stuffy or difficult but simple and very easy to understand. He always keeps you laughing about all the people that thought he was so smart but how there was always a logical reason and approach to how he solved puzzles. One of the was when people panicked that one of the safes could not be opened when a manager was away on vacation and could not be reached. He went upstairs and tried the combination that was delivered with the safe, figuring the manager had never bothered to change it. Sure enough he was back down in one minute. The secretary couldn't believe he'd accomplished the safe crack in such a short time. He shrugged and said it was nothing.

Great reads both of them. If you want something deeper but still understandable read his book QED.

...dave
One of the most important tools of physics is the wastebasket. -Richard Feynman

Friday, March 18, 2005

Oak Wall Unit

We've lived here now for about three years and have never finished the office. We just set up a lumber core piece of plywood across two file cabinets for my desk. And we bought a cheap simulated wood desk for Ruth about seven years ago at some OfficeMax for $59 I think. Really the "wood desk" is bland wood grained contact paper pasted over glued sawdust board. Okay, It's true, it's not sheik, but hey, neither are we. It was working though, what's wrong with that?

The only REAL furniture in the office are some solid oak bookcases I made some years ago and they still look as beautiful as the day I finished them. These things went through a flood. When the water receded I wiped them down with oil and they were as good as new, but that's another story.



Ruth wanted real office furniture, can't say as I blamed her. She went hunting on eBay and found a beautiful unit and bid on it. The challenge would be the shipping. One bid and seven days later, the solid oak unit was ours. Ruth hunted around and found prices ranging from $1200 to $500 for shipping. The company that agreed to ship the items from Illinois to Georgia for $500 was also willing to wrap it.

The unit came in six pieces. They were new. A contractor had ordered them for a client that didn't want them so he sold them and we were the only bidders. These things go for $4000 new.



I set them up in one night...but it was a long night.

Now we have an office that LOOKS like an office. Now all she needs to do is move the stuff from her old desk to the new. And she did but...

When I got home today, she decided that it needs to be moved. Sure, just after the back surgery.

...dave
My wife and I have an agreement. I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

The Dilbert Principle

It's really true. Big companies are very much as you read in Dilbert. Huge processes that are more costly that the projects themselves, clog the development effort, and stagnate the progress.

Multiple people all reviewing how the project is going, people that are making $100k-$500k, lots of people. At one meeting I went to there were no less than 30 people all reviewing a project that had a budget that was no more than $150,000. When you add up all the people siting around the table you are in excess of the project itself, just adding up what they are worth in those two hours.

We, of course, have a great time seeing the lunacy in it all. We'll receive a budget for say $150,000. We'll start the project, get into it for about a month and suddenly we are missing $50k. Where is it in the budget? We ask around but no one can tell us. Except the controllers. We learn that some pet project got the money and no one bothered to tell us.

Just this morning one of the Team Leads came over to tell us he'd sent several messages to one of the key people on the project but never gets any response. I jokingly said: "You've probably got the wrong guy but he's not saying anything because he wants to stay in the loop." "Yeah" one of the other guys chimed in "he wants to know how the project is doing but doesn't want to do anything."

I've been working on moving a file from one location of the country to another. I've got about 150 emails on the subject from about 30 different people in about 10 different departments. I even ran a test myself to see if it was possible. Finally after about four months of effort I ran into yet another road block. I simple piece of software needs to be installed on one of the machines. We have the software but no one will load it until we purchase another license. That's fine except the paperwork usually takes four weeks. The software costs $20. No joke! Here's the kicker, each and every department has known about this for over four months.

It's crazy I tell you. If it were not so funny and entertaining I'd go mad.

...dave
We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. -AT&T Long Lines Division

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

50 Years of Journals

What if you could read a journal that was 50 years old? What if it was about people you knew? What if it was about parents and grandparents of people you know? What if the journal was kept by a very observant person? What if you were mentioned, described, or even explained in the pages of those journals?

That's exactly what I discovered about a friend of a friend. She has kept a journal since 1954. She was obsessive about keeping the journal, all little notes written in little black books about everything. How interesting would it be to read it?

Several have said that they consult her often because her observations are as sparkles from a diamond, bright, insightful and sometimes blinding in their clarity. Hum, I wonder what she'd say about me? Some folks don't say much out loud but there's sometimes something baking in the oven and they later write about it.

Here's the really interesting thing about this person. Her journals are mentioned in her will. She has specified that all of them be burned. She has even specified WHO will do the burning. She has left nothing to chance.

Of course it's possible that you would not know any of the people she mentions in her journals. It's possible that it would be pure entertainment. But It's more likely that you could learn something.

I sometimes go back to past journals and re-read them. It's interesting that some of the things I obsessed on, never became issues. Other things that I didn't comment a lot on, changed my world.

Journals are really portals overlooking the vast sea upon which we travel. But they are portals at the stern. They only look back. Time is unidirectional. The wakes behind us do not chart our course, they only tell us where we've been. Journals are the same. Worrying about the past while living the present is like driving using only your rear view mirror. It's important to look at the past so as to view the progress made, but too much attention will lead to a crash in the present.

Truth is, few people would want others to view their journals. The point of journaling is to feel free to express your views. How can you be truly free if you are afraid of someone peeking over your shoulder? And I guess that's really the point of the old lady's 50 year journals. She's said what she wanted, more to purge her soul than to publish her views. When her life is over, so are theirs.

...dave
My wife says I'm nosy, at least that's what she wrote in her diary.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Atlanta in the News

I know you've all seen the exciting times we've had here in Atlanta. Four people killed in the span of just two days all by one man gone crazy. It's sad that innocent lives are snuffed out all because of inadequate security in the very place that is to execute judgement.

There will be plenty of blame to go around. The budgets that are not able to keep up with the demand so therefore fewer resources (i.e. people, they love to call them resources, as if they are somehow disposable). Others will blame inadequate security controls (i.e. equipment, gadgets, surveillance screens). I've already heard that the security guard has a camera trained on the hallway but somehow he couldn't see the tiny screen. We've all seen these screens split into quadrants.

What's most distressing to me is when they interview some of the deputies. They sound like they've just got off the tractor and might take a look around for the criminal after they feed the chickens. And it's not their accent that bothers me so much, it's their inability to complete a sentence. I don't have much confidence they will find the felon if they can't find the words to describe how they'll do it.

"Well, ya know, we heard that someone saw him drive out the parkin' geerage...but ya know...well we just figured it was so...so we didn't know...and we checked it out later, sure nuf, thar it was Friday night."

Huh? What did he say? Was that information about the case or just about the farm?

Thanks to the woman's ability to call 911, they got a lead and apprehended the guy who surrendered. Here's what I remember him saying:

"Yeah, well when he saw we meant business, he knew he was surrounded with all the swat team there and all. They were surroundin' the apartment and he weren't gettin' out without putting up a fight."

Yeah, it was good that the 911 folks called them.

In another police story an officer slammed a woman to the ground for brushing his arm with her rear view mirror while backing up in a loading zone at the airport. He had just asked her to move her car while she was loading her 80 year old mother. Fortunately the airport security video caught him in the act so his arm in the sling at a court hearing the next day wasn't convincing.

...dave
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me. -Bobcat Goldthwait

Monday, March 14, 2005

Red Top Drive

Yesterday was a beautiful day. It was 77 degrees out and perfect weather for a "top down" drive.

So in the afternoon Ruth and I decided to go for a ride, a sort of picnic date. I know it sounds sappy but we really had such a good time that we may just make it a habit.

We headed up north to Red Top Mountain. There are several boat ramps, campgrounds, and picnic areas up there. We chose to hang out at the boat ramp where several jet boats were out skimming the lake.

We found a concrete picnic table where we spread out our sandwiches, chips, soda, tea and cookies. Yeah, we may have go overboard on the simple lunch. There was a gentle breeze across the lake that made the temperature ideal.

There's a green trestle bridge that spans the lake. Boats and jet skis were passing underneath. A father and son expedition got underway just as we finished lunch. The young boys, about 8 and 10, helped dad push their fishing boat out and off they went. One guy came back with an ice cooler full of fish.

We pulled out our study materials after lunch but people must have thought us nuts. You're supposed to go to the park to relax NOT study. But we are committed to our Chinese studies regardless of how crazy we seem. That reminds me of a time I went to lunch at a small restaurant. It was crowded. I found a table alone and after my noodle soup I pulled out a book and a highlighter. The restaurant became quiet and still, I thought that odd. I looked up and was suprised that the entire place was staring at me as if I needed a straight jacket. One of them said: "Look at this guy, what is he trying to prove anyway?" I went back to my studies but I was feeling very uncomfortable and left soon after.

Learning a foreign language has been very interesting because my enthusiasm vacillates. Some days I don't want to push my brain another inch and other days I can't get enough.

We packed up and drove around looking for some deer. Last time, a group of tourists decided to take a picture of one. Trouble was they stopped on a blind curve. We came around and almost plowed into them. On another visit we found a group of deer grazing in one of the small valleys.

It's always the simple things that matter most.

...dave
The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. -Hans Hofmann

Sunday, March 13, 2005

The Rebel Alliance

I've switched over completely. I'm not looking back. I brought up the unix shell for the first time on my iBook and memories of my Solaris came back to me. Ah, it's great to be on a real programmer's machine. Now I just have to break out all my unix tools and scripts I wrote for the Solaris UltraSpark machine.

My first challenge was to bring up one of my old Word docs. Today I failed. I had to go back to the evil Empire, Micro$oft, and load up my old doc to print it. If I only had more time, I would not have gone brielfy to the dark side. But I shut the beast down just as soon as the dirty deed was done and rejoined the rebel alliance.

I have become part of the rebel alliance!

...dave
Do or do not, there is no try. - Yoda

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Shadow Divers

I've just started Shadow Divers. It's a true story about divers who discover an old WWII submarine. Rusty said it's a page turner. He sent me the recommendation at 3:00am after finishing the book.

I haven't kept any light burning but so far it's pretty interesting. Robert Kurson is a very good story teller.

I wish my buddy wouldn't do this to me, sending me all these recommendations for books. I've already got ten books stacked, literally stacked like a tower, on my bed stand. Trouble is, I've been so loaded down learning Chinese I don't have any time to leisure read anymore.

I'm immersing myself into Chinese. I have four Chinese Pimsler CDs in my car that come on just as soon as I start the engine. I have a word processor that I use to look up all the pining (romanize chinese characters). I carry flash cards with me that I can pull out during boring meetings. I also carry a dictionary in my pocket. And finally I've loaded a Learn to Write Chinese flash card system on my machine at work. The idea is to immerse yourself in the language. It appears to be working. I know at least three more words since last week so I'm making progress.

Ruth and I have been speaking to each other any time we get a chance, ah, talk in Chinese that is. We try to form nonsense sentences or ask each other questions and respond as best we can. Our vocabulary is increasing. We could probably talk to a one year old.

Back to the book...I'll let you know if it's as absorbing as learning Chinese.

...dave
Language is the dress of thought.� ~Samuel Johnson

Friday, March 11, 2005

401K Plans Explained

I'm always amazed at how little I know. I'm really very dumb. I try to learn stuff but it seems that I can't keep up. I'm always behind. I'm always out-smarted. I think I'm synapsis-challenged.

I give details below but here's the basics.

All 401K plans are not the same. It varies from company to company. If you work in the tech sector and work for a software house, odds are you can contribute the maximum for your tax bracket under IRS law. If you work for a company that has a lot of low-paid employees, you can't contribute as much. The reason? IRS says that in order to avoid discrimination a company must have an equal distribution of highly compensated employees and non-highly compensated employees contributing to a company sponsored 401K. Actually it's a complex test and audit they do but I'm trying to make this simple. (IRS calls highly compensated employees HCEs. I'm not making this up!)

As I stated before, if you work in a software house, odds are everyone is making about the same. If you work for a company that has a high percentage of low pay employees, say $7/hr you'll have a problem maxing out your pre-tax 401K plan.

This is something no one told me. I couldn't figure out why my desired 15% payment into my 401K plan wasn't adding up in my check stubs. I did some calculations and discovered the 5% ceiling. I called my Benefits folks and they tried to explain this to me. It wasn't until I spoke to three people and read numerous pages on the Internet that I finally understood. It's a crazy world out here.

Now here's the really goofy part. If you happen to be a VP the company can do what they euphemistically call "make you whole." Yeah, it's kind of creepy sounding I know. Here's how it works: Say that you want to contribute 15% but the company's 401K plan doesn't allow more then 5%. The company will "make you whole" by setting aside some cash that they give to you as a bonus for the dollars you would have lost. Nice. As you know, VPs who make $500k a year need this "benefit." I mean, just think of what their gross would be without this little offset.

The reason why most folks never see this is because usually companies don't allow you to contribute to a 401K the first year of employment. When I worked for my previous software company we made good money on the 401K. The company was even matching for a while. Now it's a joke.

So the next time you negotiate a deal with a company, find out what their HCE vs non-HCE mix is, or just ask what the current ceiling is for HCEs. That'll tell you a lot and can help you negotiate a better deal if you are an HCE.

You can read more about the IRS law and company sponsored 401K here.

You can read about upcoming changes and options here.

...dave x84038 Architect for The Home Depot
It takes a lot longer to say what you think than tell what you know.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

American Express

Yeah, it's true, we've come into our own. We've become American Express carriers. I'm feeling much better now. I feel much more "empowered" now that I have American Express behind my purchases.

I already have VISA and MasterCard but with AMEX in my pocket there is nothing I can't conquer.

The main reason for the card was the bonus 12,500 bonus miles on Delta. That's cool. It gets us to our families in California and Hawaii without cost.

But one of the selling points for us was that we could use it for our mortgage payments. Wow! Using it for the house payments could sure rack up the miles. So we went for it.

But here's the weird part. Here's the ugly part. When we called our two mortgage companies, neither of them would accept it. Then Ruth called AMEX. They have a mortgage division. After several dead ends, transfers, phone menus, and even a misdirected route to a sex hotline, she got a warm body (but not the one on the sex hotline). It was a rep for AMEX. When Ruth told him that the main reason for getting the AMEX card was that it was advertised that we could use it for our mortgage. Could we transfer our mortgage to AMEX and then pay with the card? The guy kind of snorted. He said 'Yeah, he'd be happy to transfer our mortgages, but no, there was no way AMAX would allow payments through their AMEX card." Thank you very much.

Was he aware that the AMEX glossies said that this was possible? How could they say this if their own company didn't support such a thing?

It's so exasperating.

Just today Ruth received a query letter from American Express asking their service was?

Glad you asked.

...dave
.
"I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife." -Ilie Nastase

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Family Problems

I work with a woman who's family life is a challenge. She came over to my desk the other day venting.

Her husband drives a truck, a semi truck. He owns a beat up old pickup that runs sometimes but mostly never. Often he calls her to come pick him up for work. She comes in early but around 10:00 he'll call her for a ride into work. She'll go fetch him, take him to work, and return.

The kids are a handfull. The son took the family car and they didn't see him for over a week. The police called and told them they found their abandoned car wrecked in a ditch. The boy, now 21, called later that week but didn't want to tell them were he was. She was glad he wasn't coming home for a while.

On another day she got a call at work from her girls at home who said that the police have surrounded the home and wanted to gain entry to search for a felon. The girls let them in. Turns out they were looking for a guy that had stole her husband's truck. Next she's on the phone with the cops saying: "Well I hardly think a guy who stole my husband's truck would hide out in my house!"

But the cops were following up on a shooting. One of the bullets came through her house and nearly missed her teenage daughter.

I do wonder, has she considered moving?

...dave
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck." -Jeff Foxworthy

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Service

No one knows what "service" is anymore. I'm not talking about the '50s gas station attendant who washes your windshield while pumping your gas.

I' m just talking about paying for stuff in a store, getting directions to the bread section, or returning an item at a "service center."

I would just like to be recognized when I walk up to a register instead of ignored while the cashier talks to her friend in the next isle over. I don't know why businesses don't get this. I want to give them money, you know, cash, cash that the business can use to pay their CEO who can buy big houses and fancy cars. But no one is paying attention to me.

Back to the "Service Center" in the store...

Service Center: You know those areas in the stores that have no one behind the counter. It's supposed to be a place where you bring stuff back, but there's really no one assigned to the area at all. It's empty and you wait. But I digress.

One day I returned a video camera to an electronics store. A young beautiful African American girl said to me when I told her why I was there: "I need to get approval because we usually don't accept returns past 10 days. We have a 10 day policy here you know." Well, no I didn't but yeah, fine, okay, get the approval. "Manager to Service Center" she announced over the store intercom.

The manager gave the approval because I guess I wasn't holding a Lugar and I wasn't wearing a trench coat. On the other hand, maybe if I were, she wouldn't have to get approval, she'd just fork over the money immediatly. He came, authorized, and left.

She scanned the item but the gun didn't pick up the numbers on the tag so she had to type the 10 digit number in by hand, well by finger nail tip. She made several errors that might have been avoided had her nails been more norma rather than resemble eagle talons. Have you seen these things? They are starting to curl over. How does she brush her hair, put on libstick, or, well, oh never mind.

She took my card ran it through the machine using her knuckles and proceeded to generate a copy of the return. I don't know why they do this. I really only want the money. What do I care that the returned item has increased their inventory by one?

Anyway, she yanked at the paper which was jammed, but then ripped. She tried to re-feed the continuous forms but had problems because of the nails again. She was really finger-challenged. (She might be able to get a handicap plate.) She was really unable to do any manual job requiring dexterity. She was cute, did I mention that? Maybe that's what got her hired because it sure wasn't any other skills that I witnessed.

Another girl helped thread the machine while the one "helping" me kept hitting the print key. Nothing happened. I had to leave. I knew what the problem was, and tried to help, but her communication skills were as short as her finger nail were long. (Hey maybe there's a connection here.) I was afraid I was going to lose it and start laughing hysterically. Then they'd think I was crazy for laughing at such an everyday occurrence. Surly it must have been a regular event because no one else was laughing. If I lost it, they'd kick me out and never return my money.

Five minutes later I returned to see her smile with a form in her hand. Boy, was I glad to leave.

...dave
"Experience of others is the best teacher."

Monday, March 07, 2005

Amazon Used Books

The only thing I like more than Amazon's used books is the ability to sell my own.

It works like this:

1) You look up the book you have using the search book, I use the title
2) Make sure the edition you found matches yours
3) Click the Used link
4) Click Sell Yours Here button

Amazon gives you a shipping credit which is about equal to the percentage they take. So if you are selling a book for $9 it works out that you'll get about $9 from Amazon.

Very cool. I buy simple mailers from Walmart (the kind with the bubble wrap built in) and take my bundle down to the Post Office. It's that simple. Usually the Post Office can ship a book cheaper than the shipping credit that Amazon gives. Not bad. Sometimes I've bought books in the used section and sold them for the same amount when I'm done reading them.

Almost always the used books I get are in Like-New condition. The edges are clean, no creases, and no dog ears. You can't tell it from a new book. I've paid as little as 23 cents plus $2 shipping for a book that costs $13 from Borders or Barnes and Noble.

Trouble is, I can't sneak the books into the house in by work bag this way. They come in the mail and are sitting on my desk by the time I get home with a greeting: "What did you order this time?"

...dave
When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Desiderius Erasmus

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Eyeball Jewelry

You've seen ear piercing, tongue piercing, eyelid piercing, and all kinds of other piercing we don't want to address here on these family pages.

But you haven't seen anything until you've seen eyeball jewelry.





It's crazy but true, the surgeon places this gold image just under the conjunctiva (yeah, whatever, you know, the clear skin of the eye). Some girls interviewed said they just wanted to be the first on the block to have one. It's done in about 15 minutes, about the time it takes to drink a milkshake.

You don't have to get a heart placed on your eye, you can choose half-moons too. Hey how about one of each on either eye? There's a waiting list so you'd better hurry and apply.

You can read more here.

I don't know, I think it's kind of dangerous. I mean, what if the light catches your eye just right and it sparkles in a direction you didn't intent? You could be flirting with someone you don't even know. Forget the possible eye damage from the operation, what about the eye damage from your wife?

...dave
There are times not to flirt. When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand. -Joyce Jillso

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Old Time Radio

I ordered some old radio shows from www.OldTimeRadioHome.com. Very cool stuff. They've got any old show you can think of on the old time radios. All on CD at reasonable prices. For example you can get 502 Gunsmoke shows on five CDs for about $13.

They had all the old Sanborn Coffee sponsored Charlie McCarthy and Edgar Bergen shows. That was some clear humor. Here's a few lines from some of the shows:

Charlie (about Edgar): "He's the nicest guy I know but I must meet more people."

Edgar (about W. C. Fields arrival): "He's just stuck his nose in the door."
Charlie: "Yeah, well, it'll be a while before he arrives."

W. C. Fields: "Yeah, I had to go to the hospital, wasn't felling well you know."
Edgar: "Did you feel any better after you got there?"
W. C. Fields: "No, really, I took a turn for the nurse...the worse, I mean."
Edgar: "Yeah, well I'm sorry to hear about it."
W. C. Fields: "Yeah, it was a nice place though, comfortable beds, even had mattresses on the walls."

The CDs even have the old sounds for example there are clicks and scratch sounds, wait a minute, those were the real McCoy.

You'll enjoy the CDs. We bought a couple and brought them over a friends. We sat around the radio (CD player) and listened like the old times.

...dave
Old age comes at a bad time.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Crystal Meth Lab Discovered

Smyrna Georgia is where I work. It�s about 30 minutes away from our home. The police discovered a crystal meth lab just a block away from a guy I work with. He gave me a little detail after convincing me that the lab wasn�t in HIS house.

It seems that the neighbors noticed that some folks on their street were not watering their lawn on the days set aside for the neighborhood. The neighbors also noticed that they didn�t bring their trashcan in from the street. When they heard a small explosion, they called 911. When the police showed up they discovered the lab.

I can just imagine the exchange with the neighbors before the police were called:

�Look, if you don�t stop watering your lawn on the wrong days, I�m turning you AND your crystal meth lab in!�

�Oh, yeah, go ahead and I�ll blow this place up.�

Which just goes to show, sometimes it�s the minor infractions that can get you into trouble.

�dave
Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's wall is ablaze. - Horace

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Quality

Rats. I just looked at yesterday's post and realized all of my grammar errors. This drives me nuts. I must edit and re-edit ten times before posting and I still miss errors.

Part of the problem is, I rush. Most of the problem is that I just have bad editing skills. But I think there is another reason too. When I look at the original writing, the words wrap differently then in the final post. When I see the final post I realize that I've typed a double word, or used past tense with a present tense structure, or some other error. I really think it's caused in part by seeing the text in another format. Strange but true.

I'm trying to concentrate here but there is something on the counter that's driving me mad...chocolates.

I just grabbed a Ghiradelli chocolate, sitting here next to me. Ruth picked up a box of these and they are habit forming. There are four types in the box: Double chocolate, Caramel chocolate, Roasted almonds in chocolate, and White Mint chocolate. So many choices and so little time.

The double chocolates have a soft chocolate inside a hard chocolate shell. They're creamy and very smooth. Just a minute while I check the White Mint....

Wow, that's great. Yeah, I'd say that every one is a keeper.

If only my posts could have that much quality, smoothness, and variety.

And talking about quality, I seem to migrate toward people that have high standards. Many of the people I work with are high calibre developers. One of them told me: "I don't tolerate mediocrity." Yeah? They why are you working with me?

...dave
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. - Catherine Aird

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Mechanical Pencils

As I've said, I always write with my Vanishing Point fountain pen but occasionally I'll branch out and write with a mechanical pencil. It's rare but true, sometimes I need to erase stuff.

I've owned the Pentel pencil, they are sort of the Vanishing Point" of pencils. They are great because they have a click mechanism that slides the entire fine point (.05) into the pen barrel with a single click. Most mechanical pencils require you to push the lead back into the point but then the fine point sticks you as you put it into your pocket. Plus, you may still damage the tip.

A friend of mine told me about the Kerry Pentel pencils. They are a capped mechanical pencil. Kinda cool really. They are better made because the barrel is a brushed aluminum. They also come in red, blue and black. This gives you the option of keeping different colors in each. Black for regular, blue with blue, red with red. Or you could keep different lead weights. The problem for me is that it takes to hands to use them. The Pentels don't.

You can pick up either of them at www.pencity.com. Both are excellent pencils, if you much stoop to using a pencil. I still carry my Vanishing Point around and hide my pencil in my bag. I only take them out when no one is looking.

...dave
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Workshop Sculpture

One of the great things about having a workshop downstairs is that you can go down there in the cold nights and work on stuff. Sunday night Eric and I worked on the final touches of his sculpture for Art School. He's been working on the project for the last few weeks.

But on Sunday night, Eric and I manufactured a swivel table for his Cube project. The assignment was an interesting one. He was tasked with building a sculpture using the same pattern. Some in the class were using a two-demensional pattern, say a number four cut out of paper. By positioning the four in various configurations they were able to build a two-dimensional sculpture.

Eric went a step further. He built a three-dimensional cube with cut outs or holes on it�s various sides. By positioning the cube in various ways and gluing sixteen of them together he got a cube that doesn�t look like it�s patterned but indeed the bottom row and top row are the same.


The Cube

Furthermore, he placed a halogen bulb in it�s center thereby casting light and shadows up through the sculpture. Then he got a small table with a swivel. We build a lazy-susan on it�s top and ran the light cord through it�s pedestal to the outlet. By placing a black cloth over the table, he achieved a very dramatic effect. The finished work looked like it should be in a museum. He presented it to the class on Monday.

After we set it up, he began to play with the piece. By setting it on it�s corner, the sculpture looks more dramatic.


The Cube Dynamic

What do you think?

...dave
It is not hard to understand modern art. If it hangs on a wall, it's a painting, and if you can walk around it, it's a sculpture. - Tom Stoppard