Porsche Visit

I'm nervous sitting here in the Porsche dealership and service area. You know how these things are, you think it's something small and then they tell you your engine needs to be replaced.

No, really, this Boxster has been very trouble free. It runs great, is fast enough (try the Boxster S for more speed), and it's fun to drive.

There is just a small problem with the remote key. It doesn't unlock the doors remotely anymore. And the other buttons on the key that open the trunks don't work either. Yes, that's right, trunks. As in many such. How many of you can say you have two trunks? Yeah, I thought so.

Of course, your single trunk is probably bigger than my two trunks together but never mind that. It's kind of cool to come out of a store and open BOTH trunks and load the groceries. People ask: "Where's the engine?" Heh, heh, I'll never tell.

The Papal announcement has been made while I sit here in their Customer Center. They have CNN running on a three-foot by four-foot flat screen. There is free coffee (Starbucks), free soda and water, as well as bagels. The decorum is very sleek. It's what you'd expect from a Porsche dealer, black and chrome chairs with oak coffee tables piled with lots of glossy high-end magazines.

It's kind of a heady experience sitting here with Porsches all around me. There are two new 2005 Boxsters (S type) behind me, one silver with chocolate leather interior, the other is black and tan leather interior. Sweet.

There's a yellow 911 just across from them that's got a SOLD sign on it. Rats, and I was going to trade in my Boxster for it. I mean, once the key fails to remotely open the door or trunks, I just trade up. Think about it, even if they do replace the key, it'll never be the same car again. I'm unloading it.

The 911 is loaded and has all the cool stuff, like a carbon fiber dash. It even has back seats. That's been an issue with Ruth. She always complains that I don't have any back seats (I tell her that's where the engine is. Well, they had to put it somewhere). Yeah, that's it, maybe she wouldn't have a problem if my Porsche had back seats. Let me see what that 911 costs . . . (I get up and saunter over to it and then return to my black leather and chrome chair. I have to catch my breath.) It costs $135,000? Yikes! It's a Turbo 911 Carrera R convertible. What did I expect? I may need to rob my piggy bank for this one, and maybe the federal reserve.

Well it's been about 30 minutes now. What could possibly take so long with checking out the remote key?

Oh, wait, John's coming over, maybe some good news.

What? You charge $200 for a replacement key? That's more that I pay for tires on my van! What do you breath for oxygen on your planet? Because you must be inhaling something other than air. Either that or you smoked something illegal for lunch.

That has got to be the most expensive free coffee I've ever had.

...dave
Someday I'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.