Wednesday, May 11, 2005


Going in to work today I switch the station to one of those giggly-coffee-breath man and woman morning shows. You know the type, the guy is cracking humorless jokes and the girl just laughs at anything he says. I don't have much patience for these baseless shows, but I stayed tuned anyway because they were handling a call from a college girl I'll call "Clueless".

She was saying that she cut one of her classes all year long. She never showed up, never took any tests, missed all the pop quizzes. This was going to be a failing class for sure.

At the end of the school year she arranged an appointment with the professor and made up some story about why she missed all year. She didn't remember the story she gave him, but it was convincing enough because he offered her a deal. She could make up the class by doing "personal projects" for him, like filing, organizing, and straightening his house. Yeah, you heard that right, cleaning his house!

At this point, the hosts of the radio station howled. But she continued with her story in a serious tone.

"So" she says "I'd go and clean his house. I'd dust and vacuum. Then one day he laid out a cheerleader uniform and asked me to wear it as I cleaned."

More ruckus laughter from the two radio hosts. They were having too good a time with this. I began to think, this has got to be a set up. Maybe they asked one of their friends to call in with this ludicrous story. But it sounded legit. Because she continued.

"Nothing ever happened, and I got a B+ for the class!"

"Hello!" The hosts were saying. "At what point did you think this was not right?"

"When he asked me to wear the outfit, I guess." she said.

"Not even, maybe before then? Like when he asked you to do personal things in his house?"

"No, I never really felt threatened." she confessed.

"So what class was this?"

"Ethics" she replied.

More laughter.


"They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits."
Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer questions about the House Bank Scandal.