365 Journal Entries

Capturing life's momentary events

The Pipe

I work with a woman that has quite a lot of drama in her life. I'd say, more than her share. I may have mentioned her before. Anyway she came over to my desk today to tell us the "topper story."

It seems that her son got pulled over by the Georgia police. He'd rolled through a stop sign. So they asked him to get out of the car while they searched through it. They expected to find some reason for the lazy driving.

They bent down into the car and pulled out something that looked like a crack pipe. They held it up from the driver's side of the car (he was back by the trunk) and asked him what this pipe was doing in his car. He said he really didn't know, must be a friends. He later told his mom that he was going to wring whoever's neck that smoked it.

They called in the experts who went through the car looking for drug residue. They didn't find any. Meanwhile her son was fuming at his friends and the memory of their last joy ride out together.

Finally, frustrated at finding nothing, the cops brought the pipe up to his face and said: "Listen boy, you better come clean. We found this and you'd better tell us where you got it."

It was then that he got a closer look. It was, in fact, a kazoo that his mother had bought him from Cracker Barrel, a local restaurant and gift shop.

He began explaining how it was actually a musical instrument but they weren't buying it. Finally he offered to play it for them and then had trouble getting any sound from the thing. Suddenly, some noise came out which proved that it wasn't a pipe as the cops had imagined but was just a toy kazoo.

Now burning mad they gave him a ticket for the rolling stop sign infraction.

The good news is if he hadn't gotten any sound out of that thing, he would have ended up in jail playing a different tune.

I've never had a problem with drugs.  I've had problems with the police.  ~Keith Richards


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