Saturday, November 12, 2005

Sunflower seeds with a twist

I stopped by CVS today on the way home from Atlanta. CVS is sort of a Walgreens competitor. But I like to stop there. It's close to our house, it's fast, it's convenient, and everyone is friendly there.

I just wanted some sunflower seeds and licorice. I found the licorice in the candy section just fine. Now, I was looking for the BIG bag of seeds. I was so disappointed. It looks like they don't carry the big bag anymore. At least I couldn't find them. They had wimpy little bags that no self-respecting seed spitter would even pick up, let alone open. I'd go through one of those bags in no time. The bag would be empty before I got home!

I went to the counter and asked the guy if they carried the big bags. He looked confused. Obviously not a seed cracker.

"They'd be over there with the others." he told me. Well, duh! Yeah?! But they ain't.

So I decided to go back and get two bags. It was then when I noticed it. A new type of sunflower seeds. Yes, they have the regular and the BBQ seeds. But I'd never heard of "Jim Beam Kentucky Bourbon Sunflower Seeds!" Wow! Dude! Let me read this label carefully. Huh? Sez here: "Soaked in Genuine Beam Whiskey." Whoa. Genuine whiskey. Coowl.

The bag was open before I got to the car. Mmmmm...good stuff. I tossed the bag on the passenger seat next to me, fired up the Boxster and began to back out of the parking space. That's when it hit me.

Should I be driving while under the influence of bourbon sunflower seeds?

What if I get pulled over by a cop? What would a breathalyzer reveal?

Will he arrest me because of the opened "container" of Jim Beam seeds?

I'm taking my chances!

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake— which I also keep handy. - W. C. Fields