Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Impatient Driving

My wife says I've become impatient since I got my little roadster but it's really not true.

I have noticed that people seem to drive a lot slower when I'm around. They must see me in their rear view mirror and slow down just to spite me. As near as I can tell that's the reason. I figure that they'd rather be in a roadster then see one ahead of them. So they begin to crawl. I'm sure of it. Why else would anyone slow down to 41 in a 45 mile an hour zone?

It's not that I'm impatient, it's just that I want to be somewhere before next Tuesday. Yes, sometimes I want go the speed limit, it's true. There's no crime in that!

It seems that everyone else would rather look at the scenery, do their make-up, and use the friends and family connection on their phone. People do everything in their cars except drive these days. Roads are for driving, People! Sometimes folks just need to be reminded of these things. Sometimes it's my duty to do the reminding. Something kind like:

'Get out of the way buddy!'

And another thing, just in case anyone is confused, it's blinker first, and break second. I know it's hard for some folks to remember the sequence. Here's a clue, remember 'L' always comes before 'R' (as in bLinker and then bRake). Do I have to spell it out for them? Sheeeesh.

Folks may sense a little urgency in my engine whine as I pass them, but I am certainly not impatient.

To me, an impatient person is someone who always leans on the horn and I never do that, mostly never. Sometimes I do have to let them know I'm around because, just looking at the way they drive it's obvious they've fallen asleep. Horns tend to wake folks up. If though, I have to use the horn, I always use friendly honks. You know, short little blasts, nothing long and blaring. Because it's not what you say but HOW you say it that matters.

Also, impatient people usually talk to other drivers, and often AT them. I don't ever do that. Except, of course, if they are especially incompetent or need some admonition to get a clue. Like the other day, one guy decided to move into the turning lane as I approached IN the turning lane. I kindly told him that he was lacking sufficient intelligence ("Idiot!"). I said it nicely and under my breath to avoid offending and just in case he read lips. And of course, I gave a short friendly blast or two, to wake him up, because he'd obviously fallen asleep at the wheel. I mean why else would he be moving into a lane already occupied?

My point is, I am NOT impatient. I'm just a conscientious driver trying to do the posted speed, waking up drivers along the way, and reminding them of their need to get a clue.

I think my wife is mistaken.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Author Unknown